Magic: The Glossary - Innistrad Remastered
Friends, it's time once again to learn a bunch of new words courtesy of little game cards. This time, however, we're talking about words we've seen before. Words we should already know.
But the thing about Magic is that despite it very frequently putting unusual words in front of players, the context in which those words are presented might not relay the definition. So, we might have seen some of these words for years, but not actually have a concrete understanding of exactly what they mean. We've done a handful of these articles now, and with each release, we get a few new words to add to our arsenal. Other than the Magic: The Glossary edition for Foundations, however, those articles covered new cards.
With Innistrad Remastered, we're returning to well-trod territory. Some of the cards contained within this release have been with us for almost 14 years now. So while all-new sets like last year's Bloomburrow or Duskmourn might give us a sampling of words we haven't seen before, Innistrad Remastered gives us the chance to gain a deeper understanding of words we've seen for more than a decade. It's also a pretty big set, with a hair under 300 cards to peruse. Sounds like a win to me.
Let's get going. Grab your dictionaries.
Distended Mindbender
We're kicking off our word journey with one that conjures up less-than-savory mental imagery. Most non-doctors among us probably have a vague understanding of what the word "distended" means, likely equating it to "bloated."
And that's mostly correct, but specifically, "distended" refers to something that's swollen due to internal pressure. Like a water balloon attached to an outdoor spigot right before it bursts.
What a "mindbender" is might be a little more interpretive, but we can infer from the card's art that it involves brain snacking. The card being related to discard might imply that a "mindbender" is more of a "mind eraser," so perhaps the "bender" part of the word is related to a marathon session of consuming mind-altering substances.
Wretched Gryff
I'm including this one in here mainly because I have heard many times at Eldritch Moon Limited events people pronounce it "wretcht," as if one syllable. It's "wretch-id," for the record. Two syllables.
It's also got a colloquial definition that isn't quite in line with the formal one: "wretched" just means unhappy, or something of bad quality, while commonly it's actually used as a synonym for "evil" or "suffering." It's an interesting case of functional linguistics: if I say the word in the context of it meaning "evil" and you understand my use of it as "evil," who's to say it doesn't just mean "evil"?
Apothecary Geist
Most people talk about this card because they think the art resembles a certain diminutive actor known for crawling naked out of a couch, but we're here simply to talk about apothecaries.
The term "apothecary" can refer to either a person who sells medicine or the place in which medicine is sold. Basically, it's an archaic term now replaced in American English by the word "pharmacist" and "pharmacy," respectively. I won't get into UK English and their use of "chemist."
If you were a time traveler from an era where people spoke Latin, you might hear the word "apothecary" and interpret it as simply "storehouse." Nowadays, you'll only see the word on storefronts if you're in a hipster neighborhood, and the place probably sells coffee and candles instead of insulin.
Cathars' Crusade
I've always found it fascinating that Innistrad is the home of cathars, because Cathars were a real thing in the real world, a fact that Crusader Kings players probably already know.
Back in the 12th century or so, in Southern Europe, a Christian cult arose called the Cathars. These people were persecuted for their beliefs, which centered around the thought that there were actually two Gods, one good and one evil, and the evil one bound all pure souls in a physical, material world. This framework of thought led to mass executions of Cathars perpetrated by Catholic Church, who considered them heretics.
The word "cathar" wasn't actually used by the people who believed in this way, but rather by Catholics to describe them, and can trace its etymology to Ancient Greek for "the pure ones." Most of what we know about the Cathars is framed similarly since the Catholics purged most of their written work and art as heresy, so much of our knowledge comes from Catholics, not Cathars.
And if you want to get really conspiratorial, it's been posited that Catholics stamped out Catharism not because of the different belief framework, but because of their view that all people are equally pure of soul underneath their physical shell, and thus could be equal in leadership hierarchy.
That's all a long-winded way to say that a card like Cathars' Crusade takes on a very different tone if you apply the real-world context to it. Of course, there's no reason to do that, since it's a Magic card and not a real-world depiction of anything, despite the borrowing of the term "cathar." Especially since, in our world, the word changed to be one of a more ancestral descriptor, not a religious one, and a modern "cathar" is just a person who can trace their lineage back to the medieval cathars.
Intangible Virtue
Something that is "intangible" is something abstract and cannot be grasped. Something not corporeal. Something incapable of being perceived by touch.
You know, like virtue.
It's funny, though, that the card only affects tokens and is heavily implied by art and flavor text and just overall "Innistrad-ness" of it that we're talking specifically about ghosts here. Yes, ghosts are by definition intangible, but so is virtue in anything. You don't have to be a ghost to be virtuous.
Subjugator Angel
A "subjugator" is probably not very enjoyable being around, as to "subjugate" means to forcefully bring someone under control as a lesser-than. It's slightly synonymous with "conqueror," though subjugation doesn't imply violence, necessarily.
Another word derived from Latin, jugus in that language is "yoke," so transliteration of "subjugate" is "bring under the yoke." Not great, and it's flavorfully a very appropriate word for an Angel on Innistrad, as they weren't exactly known for their soft touch.
Docent of Perfection
There are two main definitions of the word "docent." The first is another term for a mid-level college professor, and the other is someone who leads tours, usually at a museum.
Which definition we see on this card is somewhat difficult to tell. We can assume that the docent we're talking about isn't the dude in the cage but the very sciency bug behind him, since the creature type is "Insect Horror" after all. The bug doesn't seem very teachery or tour guidey, however.
Perhaps the research it seems to be doing is part of a doctorate program?
Nebelgast Herald
"Nebelgast" is a made-up word, but made up of real parts, or in other words, a portmanteau.
The first part is "nebel," which is German for "fog." The second part, "gast," is an H away from "ghast," an archaic way to describe something terrifying, usually in relation to spirits like the one we see in the art.
Then there's Herald, like your favorite Magic: The Gathering content website. To "herald" something is to give public notice of, literally proclaiming something for all to hear.
So if we put the card's full name together, we get something that just wants everyone within earshot to know that a really spooky fog's rolling in.
Syncopate
Here's one that we as Magic players have seen for many years, but we might not know exactly what the word itself means other than describing a flexibly costed Dissipate.
Originally from Odyssey way back in October of 2001, we've been Syncopating each others' Gorilla Titan for a long time, but what exactly does that mean?
Well, to "syncopate" something means to cut it short. To abbreviate, or cut down on length. Ironically it's longer than its root, which is "syncope," a noun to describe a state of lost consciousness caused by low blood flow to the brain. Or in other words, "cutting short" your wakey time in favor of sudden sleepy time.
In Magic terms, we can guess that syncopating an opponent's spell means to cut short its quest to resolve.
Ecstatic Awakener
In our day-to-day language, to be "ecstatic" is to simply be really, really happy about something. The Detroit Lions earned the top seed in the NFC playoffs; I'm ecstatic.
But there's a lot more going on with the word than to simply be a synonym with "thrilled."
The word's been around for centuries, and way back in the 1300s or so, it had a very different meaning. Instead of a state of heightened happiness, to be ecstatic meant to be overwhelmed by ecstasy in a way that caused madness and out-of-body experiences. It was a religious term.
The use of the word on this card seems to hearken back to "ecstatic" from the olden days, as the ritualist depicted seems to be in a sort of demon-fed trance, beyond reason or self-control. Especially since, if you flip the double-faced card over to reveal part two of our little story, the flavor text contains the phrase "euphoric agony."
So if you ever wonder why people keep fiddling with the Lament Configuration in Hellraiser movies even though they know Pinhead's just going to come flay them alive, maybe this will give you some insight.
Sorin, Imperious Bloodlord
Sorin's had a long and winding road in Magic lore, and I quite like his current gimmick as "vampire who is too old for bullshit and just wants to be left alone."
To be that dismissive of problems that are not directly your own takes a certain kind of arrogance, and luckily, we know Sorin's the man for the job since it says so right on the card.
To be "imperious" means to have a self-satisfied assurance, a domineering attitude brought on by the belief (rightful or not) that you're simply better than everyone around you. Sorin is the poster boy for imperiousness, and I love him for it.
Tree of Perdition
There's the Tree of Redemption, and the Tree of Perdition in Magic. There's also all the cardinal direction trees, the First Tree, the Kin Tree, Tree of Tales, Three Tree City and Esika, God of the Tree, but we're only talking about the first two.
Of all the trees, getting caught up in the branches of the Tree of Perdition is probably least enjoyable, as the word "perdition" means literal hell. And since "redemption" is sometimes used as a synonym for salvation, it's the Tree of Heaven and the Tree of Hell.
I thought cottonwood trees were the tree of hell (and you'd think this too if you had one in your yard like I did for a decade), but I guess not.
Triskaidekaphobia
Most Magic players know what this word means, simply from the novelty of it showing up in Shadows over Innistrad back in 2016. But in case you weren't playing then, or have forgotten, I'll tell you.
Literally, it's the fear of the number thirteen. It's worth noting that the use of the suffix "phobia" has a common parlance of just being regular afraid of something, but in medical terms, a phobia is debilitating and life-sundering.
Abrade
There are only so many words in the English language that can describe breaking an artifact, so here, 30-odd years into Magic, we have to start digging deep in the thesaurus.
And that's where "abrade" comes from. Specifically, to "abrade" something is to wear it away with friction, like with sandpaper. It's the verb form of "abrasion."
While the Dominik Mayer art we see here in Innistrad Remastered (borrowed from Crimson Vow) is cool, the original version from Hour of Devastation is probably more thematic to the meaning of the word itself:
If we're going for an even more precise art-to-definition connection, we have the borderless Foundations version for that:
Honeymoon Hearse
I'm including this one on here not because the words in the name are rare: we all know that a honeymoon is the halcyon glow of post-marriage revelry, and a hearse is the only car in which the passenger doesn't need to wear a seatbelt.
I added it to the list mainly because I think the history of the word "honeymoon" is interesting, if not kind of depressing. The reason we refer to the trip or vacation taken by newly married couples as a "honeymoon" is twofold: the "honey" aspect refers to the thought that the time right after marriage is sweetest, and the "moon" part implies that that sweetness will wane.
That's some "I hate my wife" boomer humor if I've ever heard it.
Neonate's Rush
Often, the word "neonate" is used to describe someone who is new at something. But technically, the word specifically refers to a newborn child between birth and one month old.
It's appropriate here on this particular card, however, since in many a vampire-related lore, humans who are freshly turned into vampires are considered "newborn" into their newfound unlife. See True Blood as an example.
The flavor text of the card backs it up, as Anje Falkenrath explains what we can now describe as the "honeymoon" period of that first sanguine snack.
Grizzly Ghoul
We're talking about this one solely because it's a pun.
Yes, it's a Zombie Bear. A grizzly bear, we assume. But it's also grisly, which means inspiring of disgust and terror. A grisly and ghoulish scene, having seen the grizzly ghoul.
Sometimes, the only justification needed to make a Magic card is that it's to be a vehicle for punnery.
Maelstrom Pulse
Like "wretched" from an earlier entry, this is another one I've heard mispronounced quite often. Keen eyes will see that it's "mael-STROM," not "mael-STORM."
What, exactly, is a maelstrom? Simply, it's a big spinning vortex that slurps up anything caught in its pull. Like a whirlpool in the ocean, or the confluence of big feelings that results in eating an entire quart of ice cream.
We get the word from the Dutch, where it means a "grinding stream," and was once just the name of a specific place, a channel of the North Sea off the coast of Norway known for swallowing up boats.
Spell Queller
To "quell" something means to reduce resistance and force a submission, or in other words, to pacify. The word actually traces its lineage back to the Middle English word for "kill."
You can quell a riot, which would probably make that Subjugator Angel happy, but you can also quell your Triskaidekaphobia.
Demonmail Hauberk
A solid fashion choice for any era or season, a "hauberk" is a chainmail tunic. Calling it "demonmail" seems to imply that it's crafted from... demons? In a demonic pattern? It's hard to tell.
Either way, it doesn't seem like the kind of fast fashion clothing you wear once and discard.
If you're saying it aloud, it's "HAW-burk," not "HOW-burk," as I often misspeak.
Rockfall Vale
Sometimes, Magic uses words that no one outside of fantasy fiction authors use, and that's perfectly fine. That's why English is so great: there are dozens of words that all mean the same damn thing, and can be sorted into a tier list of how likely they are to be the preferred word of some fancy elf.
Thus is the difference between "vale" and "valley," in that there is no difference. They mean the same thing, the low spot between two hills, often a perfect place for a little frolic. And if you're from Wisconsin, you might know it better as a "dale."
Meat is Meat
And with that, we now wait for the Vehicle-centric Aetherdrift, so brush off your knowledge of car jargon, because I think we're going to need it.
Were there any words in Innistrad Remastered that gave you pause? Anything you learned, thanks to Magic? I'd love to hear it below.
