Duskmourn Story Audio Played Backwards Reveals Great Mono Black Modern Decklist

Tallahassee, FL - A local church congregation is protesting game maker Wizards of the Coast after the members discovered what they believed to be a demonic message by playing audio of a recent Magic: The Gathering Duskmourn story backwards.

In actuality, the reversed recording includes a viable Modern decklist and a few tips on how to play it, but don't tell that to people like Sandra Boozler, member of the Tabernacle of The Blind Faith Church on Fieri Rd.

"Those horrid Wizards think they can hide their Satanic messages from us," declared Boozler while holding a sign that says "GOD HATES TRON", "but not on my watch! I make sure to listen to everything my kids are listening to but backwards, so that devilish things like this aren't affecting their young minds. If they would've listened to this they could've been sent straight to Damnation, which I know I heard in that hidden message in the so-called 'story' that evil corporation put out.

"And oh, Lord, the other terrible things I heard in that recording. That satanic voice, whispering about how to seize someone's thoughts, praising some horrific end times being named Sheoldred, the Apocalypse, and discussing horrific sexual BDSM acts. At least that's what I think Necrodominance means; I'm a good Christian woman and I've never heard of that kind of thing before."

We reached out to Wizards to see if there was any truth to the backwards message, and spokesperson Trent Crosby responded to say that it was not only true, but intentional.

"We thought it would be fun to include the decklist in the recording," explained Crosby in an e-mail that somehow had VHS static added to it. "Not only does this add a fun Easter egg to the Duskmourn story for those who can discover it, it's also an attempt to subconsciously get people to play Modern. Frankly, the Modern Horizon sets didn't sell the way we want them to, and we need the format to grow back after we screwed up by printing Nadu, Winged Wisdom, so we concocted a way to subliminally get people interested in mono-colored Modern decks again. We apologize to anyone who is offended by the recording; we promise we'll include a mono-white Angels list in our next recording to balance it out."

At press time, members of the Tabernacle purchased a few boxes of March of the Machine: Aftermath boosters to burn in a communal fire, to the delight of Wizard of the Coast.