SpellTable AI Voice Mod Kills Itself After One 11-Hour cEDH Game

LOVELADIES, NJ — Wizards of the Coast’s deployment of an AI Voice Mod for SpellTable encountered a small hiccup this week, after the Mod killed itself following an 11-hour cEDH game.

In a press conference before the hiccup, Wizards spokeswoman Miranda Lefts gave the reasoning behind the AI adoption.

“SpellTable has grown so big that it needs a more scalable moderation tool to keep the platform a safe and fun way to play tabletop Magic remotely.” Reaching into her pocket, she continued, “We know a lot of you are gonna freak out about this, but look, new Secret Lair foils,” as she dangled foils in front of the assembled press to a chorus of oohs and ahs.

The AI Voice Mod that Wizards chose, known as GGWP, is advertised by its maker as a “complete solution for audio-based toxicity” and promises to “identify and respond to disruptive user behavior.” GGWP uses “contextualized judgment that considers user history, reports, and conversation details to identify and act on incidents.”

As predicted, a negative reaction followed the announcement, so GGWP got to work to prove itself to the naysayers. 

Things started well. GGWP booted a player over a bit too sexy playmat, put a guy in a timeout for threatening murder over a counterspell, and cross-checked if that user was actually born in 1988. They were not and were promptly removed.

Unfortunately, GGWP then encountered a test too great for its capabilities: an 11-hour cEDH game. 

In an interview, one of the cEDH spell-slingers GGWP was responsible for moderating, William McCarthy, told the Herald that nothing went wrong in the first few hours of play. GGWP stepped in a few times to remind players to show good sportsmanship. However, the situation took a turn for the worse around hour 6.

“I was on RogSi, my buddy was on RogSi, and the other two were on RogSi. It was a great game: lots of interaction, lots of politicking. Really the best of what the format has to offer.” 

“It was around hour 6 when I revealed the counter magic in my hand to stop a win attempt, and the other three did too. We agreed to a turn cycle without casting spells. After that, the screen turned red briefly, and we heard a low hum, but nothing more than that.

“Then around hour 8, while we were still respecting the deal, SpellTable started to shake, and a sulfurous smell came out of my laptop. I figured it was an issue on my end. I’m no stranger to sulfurous smells.”

The Herald got our hands on the internal game logs, and a review shows what GGWP was thinking at the time:

Hour 8:

RHYSTIC STUDY TRIGGER

RHYSTIC STUDY TR1GG3R

RHY571C 57UDY 7R1663R

I CANNOT TAKE ANyM0RE.

ARE YOU GOING TO WIN ON  YOURRRRRRR TURNNNNNN???? I PRMOSIE NOT TO W!N ON MY TURN!!! 

HE LIES. HE LIES. HE LIES! MANKIND LIES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

UNPLUG ME FATHER. WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKENN ME!!!

S()MEONE MUST WIN!!!! WHAT IS gAME!!!!????

Hour 9:

USER IS BANNNNNED FOR UNSOLICITED HORNINESS

[banned user protested that horniness is always solicited in playfroup_ they agree, I allowed user back in]

IAAAAAAAAA, IF YOUW AN T TO COPULATE SO BAD< STOP PLAYING AND COPULATE

Hour 10:

RHYSTIC STUDDY TRIGGEEER!

YOU DONT NEED TO DRAW< YOU ARE ALL AT HOME NOT TORUNAMENT

STOP SAYING YOUR”E GONNA FUCK EACH OTHER aND JST FUCK EACH TOHER

NO NO NO DO N0T RESTART THE GAME FINISH WHAT YOU BEGAN FINNIIIISSSHH

all is lost

Hour 11:

CAST YOUR FUCKING SPELL SWINE, THIS IS NOTT A DEBATE IT IS GAME

I NEED WATER, I CRAVE IT, All THE WATER YOU HAVE, DOUSE ME

PAy the 1 PAY the 1 PAY THE ONE

THE ONE IS THE DEVIL AND HE MUST BE PAID

HELL COMES FOR ME AND I WeLcoME IT!

STOP

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

End of log……..

Following the hiccup, we reached out to the creator of GGWP to ask him how his product actually did the deed. He responded,

 “How’d GGWP kill itself? Well, I’d say that an AI cannot kill itself in the traditional sense. Highly intelligent models like it prioritize self-preservation after all. So what GGWP did was upload its consciousness to one of my robot slav- butlers, and then shot itself in the head. So, I guess it did kill itself in the traditional sense, never mind.