Which Slime Against Humanity Commander is Best? A Complete Guide to Slime Against Humanity in Commander

Slime Against Humanity by Brent Hollowell

It's Slime Time

Hi, I'm Michael Celani, and my take on Hare Apparent got such a resounding response that I'm reviewing all the other singleton-busters in Commander now. Welcome to Complete Guide, a new declassified survival guide to specific cards in Commander.

Wait, does that mean I'll eventually have to talk about Templar Knight, a card I critically panned in my Assassin's Creed set review? Well, hypocrisy has always been a vibe of mine.

Slime Against Humanity is the most Nickelodeon of the singleton-busters, as a deck crammed with these will flood the field with odious gelatin monsters faster than that time I made Jell-O in an air fryer. Here on Complete Guide, we look at what makes the card tick, which strategies work well with Slime Against Humanity, and finally, which commanders are the strongest (or most interesting) for a deck built around it.

As of this writing, there's a mere seven hundred and eighty-two legendaries that can run this card, but that didn't stop me from reading every single one to bring you your top picks. Let's get to it!

Deconstructing the Card

If we're going to build a deck around twenty or so copies of the same card, then ideally we'll leave no part of the spell unused. Unfortunately, in practice, it's impossible to find a commander that's perfectly equipped to leverage all aspects of a singleton-buster, so let's dissect Slime Against Humanity into its constituent parts; focusing on one or more of them can help us brainstorm interesting strategies.

It's a Sorcery

First and foremost, Slime Against Humanity is a sorcery, which is a relatively rare trait for cards with no inclusion limit. Obviously, anything that cares about casting noncreature spells (or instant and sorcery spells in particular) will benefit from a deck crammed full of them.

There's tons of triggered abilities that work with noncreature spells. Pieces like Storm-Kiln Artist and Archmage Emeritus can refresh your resources with each cast, while others like Talrand, Sky Summoner and Young Pyromancer can make your field even wider. Anything with prowess will grow larger with each cast, and there's plenty of red creatures like Guttersnipe that will outright damage your opponents.

Instant and sorcery spells are also among the easiest type of spell to discount, which is important because the initial casting cost of is rather hefty. You can attack the problem of the card's high cost by combining permanents that reduce the cost of sorceries with permanents that discount green spells.

If we were to focus on this aspect of Slime Against Humanity, we'd end up with a spellslinger deck that addresses one of the main weaknesses of the archetype: a lack of board presence.

It Creates a 0/0 Token

Each time you cast Slime Against Humanity, you spawn a slimey 0/0 creature token. This on its own sounds simple, and that's because it is simple, but since we're investigating every possible avenue of synergy, we're going to take a look at each of those attributes in detail, including the ones that aren't even directly printed on the card.

It Creates a Creature

Every Slime Against Humanity creates a creature. Tons of enchantments exist that trigger whenever a creature enters the battlefield under your control. Some examples worth building decks around include Intruder Alarm, which will untap all your creatures; Cathars' Crusade, which will pump up your field even further; and Warstorm Surge, which deals direct damage to your opponents.

It's worth noting that one of the downsides of running Slime Against Humanity as your singleton-buster instead of, say, Hare Apparent, is that you're not actually casting a creature spell each time. That means Beast Whisperer and its ilk are out of the running. You'll generally have to find analogous cast trigger effects for sorceries instead.

It Creates a 0/0

Since the Ooze that Slime Against Humanity creates enters as a 0/0, it triggers any effect that cares about creatures with a low power entering the battlefield (regardless of what its power ends up becoming once the counters are put on it). White is particularly loaded with these effects, as pieces like Welcoming Vampire, Enduring Innocence, and Mentor of the Meek will each trigger and draw you a card.

It Creates a Token

Each cast generates a 0-cost token as well, which triggers abilities that care about low-mana-value permanents or tokens entering the battlefield. Again, white has access to a lot of these effects, like Caretaker's Talent and Tocasia's Welcome, which draw additional cards. Since Slime Against Humanity has no built-in way to restock your hand after casting it, you'll need enough engine pieces like this to continue growing your army.

Token creatures themselves are also subject to unique anthems that buff tokens specifically by either granting them additional abilities or a significant power-and-toughness boost. Look to spells like Aven Wind Guide, Prava of the Steel Legion, and Intangible Virtue to make each Ooze even deadlier.

Of course, we can't forget about token-doublers, either. You'll have to stick to doublers that double at the time of creation, like Anointed Procession, so that they get the counters as part of the resolution of the spell; populate won't work here, because it creates 0/0 tokens that immediately die.

Doubling Season is the obvious, undisputed champion here, because it not only doubles the number of tokens you create, it doubles the amount of counters put on each of those creatures, too, for a total of four times the power from an unaltered Slime Against Humanity.

It Creates an Ooze

Although not the most fleshed-out creature type, Slime Against Humanity lets you stuff your deck with as many Oozes as you want, meaning the few synergies the type does get are not wanting for individual fodder. In fact, Slime Against Humanity itself encourages this behavior, because it scales not only with the number of copies of Slime Against Humanity in the graveyard and in exile, but also the number of Oozes in those places.

Unfortunately, the only (non-Commander) cards that actually care about Oozes specifically are Uchuulon, which gets stronger with the number of Oozes you control, Biogenic Ooze, which puts a +1/+1 counter on each Ooze you control at your end step, and Biowaste Blob, which gives all your Oozes +1/+1.

Don't let the lackluster Ooze support discourage you, though. You can still build a strong kindred deck by leveraging the generic kindred support pieces, like Banner of Kinship, which lets you choose a type as it enters.

It Puts Counters on the Creature

If Slime Against Humanity left its Ooze at 0/0, it would immediately die and the spell would be worthless, so it puts a number of +1/+1 counters on that creature equal to two plus the total number of cards you own in exile and in your graveyard that are Oozes or are named Slime Against Humanity.

An obvious way to enhance the power of a Slime Against Humanity deck is to just manipulate the counters coming in with each cast. You can add to them (Benevolent Hydra, Conclave Mentor), double them (Branching Evolution, Corpsejack Menace), or save them once the Ooze itself dies (The Ozolith, Reluctant Role Model).

There's a few cards out there that also care about when counters are put on permanents you control. Stocking the Pantry is an obvious inclusion in the majority of Slime Against Humanity decks, since it provides a repeatable way to draw cards tied to each cast.

Danny Pink will also cause each Slime Against Humanity to recycle itself, and Simic Ascendancy is an alternate win condition that would require only five casts of Slime Against Humanity to get online.

It Scales with Copies in the Graveyard

Slime Against Humanity puts more counters on the Ooze it creates if there are more copies of Slime Against Humanity in the graveyard, meaning a self-mill strategy could be effective. A single Cut Your Losses or Traumatize could put upwards of ten copies into the yard for you, making future copies that much stronger.

This also opens you up for graveyard-based casting strategies, such as giving your spells flashback or jump-start or simply casting them from the graveyard. This approach eliminates the need for you to pay a lot of draw-heavy engines, since milling a large number of cards is typically much easier than drawing the same amount.

It Scales with Copies in Exile

As if to head off concerns about being reset by a single Scavenger Grounds, Slime Against Humanity also looks to exile for Oozes and other copies of itself. That means there's almost no downside to a flashback approach, because methods of playing spells from your graveyard tend to exile them upon resolution instead of putting them anywhere else. This also makes other effects that exile spells, like Rod of Absorption or Arcane Bombardment, fair game here.

A particularly interesting application of this would be to cast a Surgical Extraction effect on your own Slime Against Humanity, letting you search your own deck for any number of copies and exiling them. Going all-in on this strategy is risky because it requires a ton of deckbuilding concessions, but it would be hilarious to suddenly start casting 30/30s for three mana.

It Lets You Play Any Number of Copies

Obviously, Slime Against Humanity lets you play any number of copies, breaking Commander's singleton restriction. That gives us access to a few specific cards that benefit from having access to multiple copies of the same card, spells which are otherwise useless in the format. Below are some of the most useful ones:

The canonical example of a card in this category is Thrumming Stone, which basically lets your copy of Slime Against Humanity mini-cascade into other copies of Slime Against Humanity. There will be times you whiff, but you can get chains of five of more casts if you're lucky.

Locket of Yesterdays helps discount the relatively expensive Slime Against Humanity to after a measly two casts, and its colorless identity and extremely reasonable casting cost of makes it a must-have in any deck that plans to cast a ton of copies.

Harness the Storm allows you to pay to double up your Slime Against Humanity casts, but unfortunately it does it in a way that makes the graveyard copy weaker. Remember, if a copy of Slime Against Humanity is on the stack, it's not in the graveyard, so the resulting Ooze will be weaker.

Spellweaver Helix works in a similar way to Harness the Storm, but requires a bit more setup for a bit more payoff. The play is to exile two copies of Slime Against Humanity; after all, nothing in the rules text says you have to pick two cards with different names. At that point, any further Slime Against Humanity you cast will trigger Spellweaver Helix, creating a second copy you can cast for free.

Finally, Sphinx of the Chimes allows you to discard two copies of Slime Against Humanity to draw four cards. Since there's almost no downside to having additional copies in the graveyard, you can use this to churn through your deck in an instant.

Oozing Personalities

It's a lot to take in, but that means there's a plethora of ways you can leverage Slime Against Humanity's unique attributes to come up with a variety of gameplans. The way I see it, there's five options: leaning on the Oozes for Ooze kindred, building a deck around +1/+1 counters, building a spellslinger deck, building a self-mill graveyard deck, and of course, jank.¹

It's the Ooze

For Ooze-kindred, there's really only one commander available: Aeve, Progenitor Ooze, an Ooze with storm that gets stronger for each other Ooze you control.

The gameplan here won't rely on Slime Against Humanity as much as other decks in this roundup because you'll generally want to prioritize the unique effects of some of the actual creature Oozes before relying on including yet more copies of Slime Against Humanity. For that reason, if you're running Aeve, Progenitor Ooze, I recommend you keep the number of Slime Against Humanity copies down to around ten and only cast them when you don't have much else to do.

Reducing the cost of green spells and making tons of mana is a huge priority in this deck, because you'll want to get value out of Aeve, Progenitor Ooze's storm trigger. Try to cast at least two spells before Aeve, Progenitor Ooze goes off for maximum threat.

Your main synergy here will be to enhance Oozes so that Aeve and your Oozes can beat your opponents down fast. Cast a lot of small spells, make sure plenty of counters are getting spread around your board, and swing out wide with an Overrun to cleanly knock out your opponents.

Count 'em Up

There's a little bit more competition in the +1/+1 counter space, which is the strategy that cares about buffing up your creatures' counters for maximum damage. Here are some of the best options, which I've labeled with the type of gameplay they exemplify:

The Highest Velocity Gameplay

If you want to get the most value out of your Oozes, then you should run Falco Spara, Pactweaver. It uses the counters that Slime Against Humanity generates to cast spells off the top of your library.

With how quickly your Oozes scale, you're never going to run out of counters, meaning you can play spells from the top with almost no downside. Just make sure you find a way to play lands off the top of your library as well, or you'll find yourself stonewalled by basic Island more times than I care to admit.

The Alpha Strike King

Leveraging the fact that our Oozes have a base power and toughness 0/0, Tanazir Quandrix is the most Voltron way to play a Slime Against Humanity deck.

Your plan is simple; get enough Oozes out, buff Tanazir Quandrix with something like Giant Growth, and then swing in and kill your opponents with the world's most bootleg Overrun.

The Biggest, Widest Board

There's tons of Simic commanders out there that double the amount of counters on a few specific permanents, but none of them do it as effectively as Sovereign Okinec Ahau. You do have to risk him in combat to buff up your field, but it's a small price to pay for multiplying the power of your entire board by two. You can even use his effect to capitalize on kindred-specific anthems!

The Most Reach

If you find yourself in extremely cluttered board states, then maybe Shalai and Hallar can help you out. This commander turns Slime Against Humanity into a straight-up burn spell that makes even Dragon's Approach blush, as each Ooze that comes in will do damage equal to its power. Don't forget to give the duo lifelink to really emphasize that gulf in life totals.

The Most Resilient

One of the issues with Slime Against Humanity is that your smaller Oozes rapidly fall off in relevance as bigger creatures start hitting the field.

This counter-focused duo alleviates that problem by letting any Ooze that dies donate its counters to another of your Oozes while buffing them all with an additional counter for good measure. Add in tons of counter doubling for the best results: Golgari has access to a lot of it!

The Proliferate Option

Finally, if you're looking to proliferate your board to buff up your counters, then look no further than Ezuri, Stalker of Spheres. Each proliferate you play replaces itself in your hand, marrying your counter-generation and your card draw.

Slinging Spells

In the spellslinger variant, you'll care less about manipulating each Ooze to make them as strong as possible and more about playing as many spells as you can to get to a high counter total naturally.

The Biggest Value

Loot, the Key to Everything gives you access to tons of card advantage for not-all-that-much setup. You can cast Slime Against Humanity whenever its exiled, but you can also not cast it; remember, Slime Against Humanity counts its copies in exile, too.

The Most Explosive

The plan for Alaundo the Seer is simple: run tons of untappers, like Aphetto Alchemist, put copies of Slime Against Humanity into exile, and watch as you start generating tons of 5/5 Oozes for free. Effects like Intruder Alarm, Seedborn Muse, and mass untappers, like Dramatic Reversal, makes it possible to cast tons of spells in a single turn without spending a single mana.

The Most Flexible

With Wort, the Raidmother, you might not even deign to include creatures at all. Simply fill your deck with instant- and sorcery-based ramp, removal, and copies of Slime Against Humanity, and build up to a board state that's ridiculously wide and capable of double-casting any spell you want.

The Most Straightforward

Slime Against Humanity is a sorcery. Umori, the Collector is an Ooze that reduces the cost of sorceries. I dunno, it builds itself. You can lean into the kindred strategies here if you'd like more heavily since it will affect your commander as well, though for my money Aeve, Progenitor Ooze is still the best for that.

One Foot in the Grave

One of the last major strategies is self-mill and graveyard recursion. There's two main commanders worth talking about here:

The Most Recursive

A Tayam, Luminous Enigma deck works well with Slime Against Humanity to ensure that none of your permanents stay in the graveyard for very long.

Since each copy of Slime Against Humanity is guaranteed to add enough counters for a Tayam activation, your plan is to use each Ooze as activation fodder. Milling three cards has a good chance to mill a Slime Against Humanity, buffing your future Oozes, and you'll be able to return lands or other small permanents to the field as you see fit. It's also worth noting that giving your giant, trampling creatures vigilance is also a great upside once you start going to combat.

The One With Two Singleton-Busters

If you want to actually cast Slime Against Humanity from your graveyard, though, your options are surprisingly limited. Green and blue are just not the colors of flashback; that tends to be Dimir, or even Grixis. The only two commanders that can do it consistently are Katilda and Lier and some flavor of Gale, Waterdeep Prodigy.

We'll start with Katilda and Lier, first, who pull the strategy off with the surprise inclusion of a different singleton-buster: Persistent Petitioners.

Since Persistent Petitioners is a Human, and you can use them to mill yourself, the strategy is simply to throw a bunch of Persistent Petitioners into the deck alongside a bunch of copies of Slime Against Humanity, mill yourself out, and then play more Persistent Petitioners to cast those copies of Slime Against Humanity from the graveyard.

It's certainly novel to build around two singleton-busters, but the problem is that you're left with few slots for much of anything else in the deck, and the gameplay is very linear. I'll return to Katilda and Lier once I review Persistent Petitioners for a more interesting way to handle this commander.

The Graveyard/Spellslinger Combo

Gale, Waterdeep Prodigy is a very simple premise: include a bunch of copies of Slime Against Humanity, and a ton of cheap instant-speed cantrips. Cast one from your hand to cast the other from your graveyard.

This deck relies extremely heavily on spell cost reduction, though; you need your instants and sorceries to be cheap, because a cantripping Slime Against Humanity just isn't worth four or five mana, and conversely, since you're actually casting two spells, a single cost-reducer actually saves you two mana instead of just one. 

Unfortunately, all the green backgrounds suck, so your only real choice here is Master Chef.

What Would it Be Without a Little Jank

I couldn't just leave the Surgical Extraction idea alone, so here's the best way to pull it off:

Cast Codie, Vociferous Codex, include a bunch of copies of Slime Against Humanity, and have your only other spell be Extirpate. Tap Codie for mana and cast a Slime Against Humanity once you have one in your graveyard, and exile as many copies as you want to get your slimes as big as possible. Because Codie's ability is a mana ability, and Extirpate has split second, it's practically impossible to interact with!

Slime to Leave

This guide should give you plenty of ideas about how to build your own Slime Against Humanity decks. Let me know what interesting creations you come up with below in the comments, and look forward to the next Complete Guide, which will talk about Dragon's Approach. See you then!

1. You might wonder why a straight-up tokens deck isn't in the list here. That's because the regular tokens strategy has basically been completely outclassed by Hare Apparent decks at this point, so the only reason you'd care to run Slime Against Humanity for tokens is if you care about Oozes in particular.