The World Is Collapsing So Let’s Look at All The Cute Legendary Dogs

With the world slipping towards a more fascist-friendly version of Mad Max, it can be hard to stay positive. Pop culture and cute animals aren’t enough to keep us from walking into the rising Oceans anymore, so we’re combining the two. Here are all the cutest Legendary Dogs in Magic: The Gathering.

Rin

The great thing about Rin is that he’s a cute dog who pals around with a cute cat. Then they make more cute dogs and cats? That’s min-maxed cuteness.

Pako

Look at that goober having fun playing fetch. He may be made of some weird glowy energy and plant material, but that’s classic good boy face. 

Sami

Everyone loves a golden retriever. Plus, the way it looks like they’re fixing a robot is adorable. They think they’re people!

Dogmeat

Fallout gave us some great new legendary dogs. Technically, Dogmeat is multiple different dogs across different games, but I prefer to think he’s some sort of avatar of dogness. 

Rex 

In theory, having an exposed brain under a glass dome should make Rex less cute. In practice, he’s somehow just as cute as Dogmeat. 

Ms. Lion

Spider-Man was a bit of a bust, but at least it gave us Aunt May’s trusty dog, Ms. Lion. Here’s to hoping we get Beast’s dog Sassyfras in a future Marvel set. 

Mowu 

Most of the dogs on this list don’t have much importance to Magic’s plot, but Mowu single-handedly beat Nicol Bolas in War of the Spark. He didn’t even use any magic, just got super swol and beat his ass. 

Phelia 

Another silly goober dog having fun. She’s so cute and loving that we all love her, even if she makes us remember that Modern Horizons happened.

Purphoros I Altered To Look Like Clifford the Big Red Dog

The cowards at Wizards are too busy making lame properties like The Last of Us and The Lord of the Rings into Universe Beyond products to give us what we really want. That’s why I took it upon myself to make a real literary figure into a custom card. 

Isamaru

This loyal dog is proof that you don’t need abilities to be a good, good, legendary boy. He barked at kami, so other legendary dogs could have walls of rules text.

Yoshimaru

Hey Wanderer, stop going on vacation to other planes and take care of your dog, maybe? Until then, I’m happy to dogsit, but it’s sad watching him just sit there waiting for his person to come home all day.

Argos

Speaking of tragic dogs, the Theros lore books are wild and super messed up. Even the cute dog got a tragic death scene.

Kunoros

With three heads to pet at once, Kuneros is a three-for-one cute dog. Don’t let the glowing white eyes and barred fangs fool you. That’s just to keep annoying recursion decks away. 

Zacian EX

I have no clue what set this cool sword dog came out of, but I love him. My only copy is Japanese, so I haven’t figured out how he works yet, but as soon as I do, he’s going to have a good boy commander deck. 

Interceptor

Final Fantasy gave us this boy who is both good and good at assassination. I’m sure any crimes he committed were adorable enough to be forgiven. Plus, he’s pals with Shadow. 

Shadow

Speaking of Shadow, look at this cutie. I had no idea Homeward Bound and Final Fantasy were set in the same universe, but it’s pretty cool. Probably a Kingdom Hearts thing.

K-9

All those Tumblr fans could have converted me into a Whovian if they’d shown me this cute robo-dog, then told me he has more than a dozen confirmed kills. Fortunatly I didn’t learn about him until the Universes Beyond set, so I got to become a fan after people stopped calling themselves embarrassing stuff like Whovians.

K.K. Slider

K.K. Slider is one of my all-time favorite musicians, so I was really excited to see him get a Secret Lair. Unfortunately, he was only on sale at 6 PM on a Saturday, and I completely missed the drop. 

Tesak

Yes, Tesak is made of fire. No, that would not prevent me from petting him. You think oven mitts would help?

Air Bud

I know, I know. Air Bud doesn’t have a card in Magic. But I think it’s worth celebrating the only dog to have won a Grand Prix.

Karvanista

I felt a little weird including Karvanista because the Lupari are sentient aliens that just happen to look kind of like dogs. But I’d scratch behind Karvanista’s ear, so he makes the list. 

Hex

As a paper Magic player, I hate that they made an Arena-only puppy. I won’t hold the decisions of Wizards against this fluffy puppy, though. It’s not his fault that a Hasbro subsidiary created him. 

Seymour Asses

Apparently, the game didn’t have enough sad dog cards, so they added Fry’s dead dog from Futurama. Here’s to hoping we get a Santa’s Little Helper in the next batch of Groening-verse Commander Decks. 

Cain Barko

Wait, when did my dog get an official Magic card? I think I need to talk to my lawyer, Matt Murdog, about this.