The Best Eggs in Magic

Nick Wolf • March 31, 2024

Today is Easter, the holiday for which corporate marketing teams throw away their primary colors in favor of pastels. They'll keep pink through May, of course, but when June rolls around, look out. 

Suddenly, everything's about man-sized rabbits, rabbit-shaped chocolate, and chocolate-flavored eggs. But have you ever wondered why many of us are overwhelmed with the desire to decorate the calcium carbonate membranes of grocery store eggs with zigzags and little acrylic flowers? 

That tradition of creating Paschal eggs is an old one, beginning well before the invention of jelly beans. Symbolically, cracking open Easter eggs are representative of an empty tomb, and the eggs were exclusively dyed red. The concept of decorating bird eggs predates Easter itself by several thousand years, of course, but like most things, the tradition has been absorbed and repackaged as what we know it as today: the Dingus Egg.

A Merry Dingus to One and All

It's a well-known fact that the Dingus Egg bears a three-fold symbolism. Though we see only the shell, we know within resides the albumen and yolk. So said Serra (~4860 AR), "Lord, let the grace of your blessing and come upon these eggs."

And as legend has it, the world was hatched from a dingus egg. What's a dingus? We may never know. Hanna tells us in Weatherlight that "a sharp conscience is the weapon of the soul," but according to leading researchers, this is irrelevant and unhelpful. 

Perhaps we can look into the lore for other hints at the oviform mystery of our debt to the dingus and its significance to this day. Maybe the real reward will be the friends we make along the way. After all, you you can't spell "Easter Pals!" without Eastern Paladin.

"Into the smothering dark, Serra spoke a single word: 'Egg.'"

Rukh Egg and Chicken Egg

As an egg cracks, we know it's a result of pressure. But is that pressure external or emanating from within? That's quite the riddle. Today, on Easter, we should all reflect on what cracks our outer shells. Is it the world in which we reside? Or the pressure bubbling up from within ourselves? 

Inside all of us there are two rukhs (one's a chicken), and as we learn to control the pressure from our inner selves, task mage Jaya Ballard reminds us that it can be molded for our own benefit. Or in her words, "That's a lotta nuggets."

"From womb of egg sprang this place of beauty, purity, and hope realized."

Dinosaur Egg

Traditionally, Easter or Paschal eggs are colored with a variety of natural dyes. Turmeric gives us a bright yellow, while beets provide pink. A speckled grey comes from hibiscus, while red cabbage paradoxically creates a blue hue. If you want to create a glossy effect, rub some bacon on the egg.

For patterning, onion skins and leaves can create intricate and unique patterns on egg shells, using a transparent cloth (think muslin or nylon) to wrap the eggs with the onion skins. Most eggs are not large enough for two right-handed artists and one lefty to doodle on simultaneously. 

Just remember to hard-boil the eggs before you begin coloring them.

"The eggs of evil are mere things. And like all things, they cannot last forever."

Hatching Plans

Eggs can be found throughout the Multiverse and are used in different ways during this time of year. Some eggs are decorated, as we've seen, but others are themselves a decoration.

Others are obstacles, as in traditional egg dances of some planes. The eggs are placed on the floor randomly (one might say strewn about, if one be he that be tasked with cleanup), and dancers are challenged to sway and twirl among them without creating a mess underfoot. 

It's all in the name of coming together. Hatching plans for unity, as it were.

"Then the great egg dance, the special dance of the season, began. A hundred eggs were scattered over a level space covered with sand, and a young couple, taking hands, began the dance. If they finished without breaking an egg they were betrothed, and not even an obdurate parent could oppose the marriage. Philibert said, 'Let us adopt the custom of Sunhome.' And they were affianced, and shortly afterward married."

- The marriage of Philibert and Margaret | Ravnica, 512 ZC

Others say this dance is a symbol of the rebirth of the planes after repeated destruction, a cycle that perpetuates. Nothing lasts forever, especially eggs, so it's best to accept that we're all a part of a cycle and enjoy the time we have together. 

"The egg of Light will shine upon them, and they will know war no more."

Gavi, Nest Warden

The symbolism of eggs as vessels of rebirth is a thread that can be traced through much of the Multiverse, similar to what we know now as Omenpaths, and like Omenpaths, to traverse the process of rebirth you must don specialized headwear appropriate for the setting.

Many eggs are laid in nests, and what is a nest but not a theater for renewal? And while rebirth is joyous, it is also fraught. New life is fundamentally in conflict with the eternal regression of the Multiverse toward the inert (read: death). So we have a theater, and we have conflict. We need now only players and an audience.

We have a hero and a villain. Our hero is slain and resurrected by a charlatan. Sometimes Tosspot is there, but sometimes we'd rather he just stay home. 

"And the last that comes in is Old Tosspot you see.
He's a valiant old man, in every degree.
He's a valiant old man and he wears a pig tail.
And all his delight is in drinking mulled ale!"

And thus, you have a Pace Egg Play. 

"Your enemies will pound upon the door of your egg, but only you shall have the key, and it is the key of life."


Bob Eggleton is a nine-time Hugo Award winner. He's won the Chesley Award for Artistic Achievement in 1999. He did concept work on the film adaptation of Michael Crichton's Sphere (notably a similar shape to an egg). 

There's a real life asteroid named after him. It's called Bobeggleton. 

He's also illustrated 19 Magic cards, including Gilded Drake, a card that is absurdly expensive, thanks in part to the Reserved List.

Is it a coincidence that he appears in this list? What is coincidence but unrecognized kismet?

"Upon my one foote pretely I can hoppe.
And daunce it trimley about an egge."

- Mariners' Legend

"From dust and light She coaxed forth an uncorrupted egg. By Her grace we dwell here, free from suffering."

Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference. Perhaps we should just forego the metaphor of an organic ovoid and just rely on artifice instead. It worked for the Russian Tsars, and it can work for us.

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And if you ever venture to Vegreville, in central Canada, just a touch east of Edmonton, say hello to the best egg there is.

"...If the frame of Egg is broken, none shall weave life's fabric."

Next time we talk, we'll be knee-deep in yee and up to our eyes in haw. I hope you've already got your chaps picked out for the occasion.

But in the meantime, we here at Commander's Herald wish you and yours a happy and safe Easter. Any input on the topic of eggs is welcome below, of course. Unless it's negative or otherwise unhelpful, then you can keep that business in the cloaca.

And don't forget: to make an omelet from scratch, you must first invent the universe.