Pantone Names “Stained LGS Table” As Color Of The Year

CARLSTADT, NEW JERSEY – After the controversial decision to name “Cloud Dancer” as Color of the Year last year, Pantone has decided to pivot to a different, more earthy shade and name “Stained LGS Table” as this year’s winner.

Pantone describes the color as “hinting at the white plastic that once existed, but now tinged yellow with years of sweat and spilled energy drinks. It captures the lived-in feeling somewhere between an old white T-shirt and a barbecue sauce stain”. Often seen as a representation of the culture at large, a company spokesperson said “This year’s choice was meant to bring us back to our roots. We’ve chosen a color all about bringing people together, usually around overpriced chips, excessively greasy pizza from a place next door, and tables with unexplained dents in them.”

The decision has already caused a stir in the fashion and design world. Sephora is planning a launch of a new line of uneven, splotchy yellow foundations inspired by the color, and hardware stores have started selling used cooking oil and Red Bull in the paint section. “It really helps give the room that natural, lived-in feeling. You can try and replicate it with a paint mixer, but an authentic gamer house has that color built up like a patina on a cast-iron skillet,” a local Lowes manager told us.

People at the cutting edge of the cultural zeitgeist have also taken note. “This feels like a cultural and literal rejection of the Clean Girl aesthetic,” said Victoria Still, a fashion and trends blogger. “After years of embracing purity culture, the average American woman relates much more now to getting progressively greasier, having men carelessly bump into them, and spending all of your time stationary in one room. The Stained LGS Table is the everyman.”

Some game stores are not so happy with the decision, however. “It feels like we’re getting punished for buying the nicer green tables with the cushioned tops,” said an employee of Card Palace in Seattle, WA. “One of our other locations even upgraded to hardwood tables, but now we’re losing business to the comic book shop because our tables aren’t part of a trend. I’m pretty sure half of theirs technically qualify as active crime scenes.”

Pantone has said they’re planning on keeping their finger on the pulse for new trends, and have already looked into potential colors for next year such as “Sweat Stained Black Shirt”, “Strip Mall Sunset”, and “Crunchwrap”.