MtG Player Relieved Everyone Also Hates Kingmaking

New York, NY - Self-proclaimed aspiring MtG Pro Ffej Netrig was rudely awakened at the early hour of 2PM this past Saturday by the chanting of tens of thousands of protesters outside his basement apartment. Their cause: protesting kingmaking in Commander evidently.

"I was shocked," says Netrig, "to hear so many people in Brooklyn yelling, 'No kings! No kings!' Especially since most shops don't have Commander Night so early on a Saturday."

I tried to correct Mr. Netrig about the nature of the No Kings protests, but he spoke over me, preferring to hear the sound of his own voice.

"I was feeling particularly passionate about kingmaking myself. During my weekly Commander game on Friday, my cousin Dylan used a Path to Exile on my Miirym, Sentinel Wyrm even after I told him not to!"

"So I ran out into the streets to join the protestors myself. I even grabbed my full quiver of decks just in case some of them wanted to play a quick game during Senator What's-His-Name's speech, but the crowd was moving the whole time so there wasn't a good spot to sit down and play on the pavement."

I told Netrig that perhaps he had gotten the wrong impression, that the protestors weren't there because of kingmaking.

"Oh, so they were protesting the monarch mechanic? I don't really get that. Who doesn't love a mechanic that encourages combat and helps everyone draw extra cards? Now that you mention it, maybe I don't want to be associated with these 'No Kings!' people after all?"

I clarified for him that's not correct either.

"So they just REALLY hate Kenrith, the Returned King, then? I mean, he's kinda like fringe cEDH I guess, but Kenny definitely isn't as bad for the format as Golos, Tireless Pilgrim was, in my opinion. It's hard to make Kenrith anything lower than a Bracket 3 deck for sure, but it's doable."

Finally, Netrig stops yammering long enough for me to get a word in edgewise and I explain that the No Kings! protests were about politics.

"Bro, don't bring politics into Commander! I get enough of that at home. And like, I get it, dude, but I wanna have like ONE place where I can just be me. No kingmaking, no pubstompers, no tryhards, and definitely no scrubs. TLC taught me better. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

With that, Netrig walked away from me, clearly confused about our location. This author still reluctantly respects his right to protest.