How They Brew It - Stick 'Em Up
Muldrotha, the Gravetide | Illustrated by Jason Rainville
My name is Michael Celani, and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like all unemployed tech workers with a MacBook, I've adhered plenty of things to my laptop's lid. I've got it all: logos for Linux distributions, political statements, a popular reference to Friends, my favorite Pokémon, this cool dragon sticker a friend was handing out, and a QR code that just sends me your credit card number when you scan it.
I love stickers so much that I covered up the top, bottom, and sides of my laptop with them, and now I can't open it and use it as a computer anymore. That's why I've enlisted the help of Muldrotha, the Gravetide, the best sticker commander. She's head of this list because
it would infuriate more of my opponents I had no better ideas she's the easiest way to exploit the biggest major benefit of stickers. Let's go!
Before we begin, we need to understand what a sticker is, and how. When you start the game with this deck, you'll have a small pile of sticker sheets with various abilities, names, art, and power/toughness combinations on them. When a card instructs us to put a sticker on something, we can pay the sticker price of a sticker on those sheets using our , or ticket counters, to apply it to a nonland permanent we own. Stickers act like Auras, as they grant abilities or stats to an object, but unlike Auras, they stay attached to that object as long as it stays in a visible zone. If a stickered creature dies, it stays stickered in the graveyard, and it stays stickered on the stack when Muldrotha casts them from the graveyard.
The benefits of this will become much more obvious once we meet The Team: the set of stickers we've picked. However, let's take a quick look at the cards that actually let us play with them in the first place.
- Let's start with The Three Ticketeers: Chicken Troupe, Glitterflitter, and Stiltstrider. These creatures give us some and let us spend them in one go. We'll have a few sacrifice outlets, like Phyrexian Altar, in the deck, so Muldrotha, the Gravetide will always give us an opportunity to apply more stickers when we need to.
- Ticketomaton is the fourth Ticketeer, but it's worth noting separately since Muldrotha can cast it as an artifact for the turn instead of as a creature.
- Scampire is also similar, but it puts stickers on creatures in the graveyard instead of on the battlefield. Note that putting stickers on permanents doesn't target, so you can respond to this trigger by sacrificing a creature if you need to.
- Prize Wall uses an ability to apply stickers and gain . This is one of the cheapest and most consistent ways to attain tickets in the deck.
- Clandestine Chameleon and Ambassador Blorpityblorpboop are souped-up compared to the rest because they get additional benefits from stickered permanents. Keep an eye on Clandestine Chameleon, because it can double up on some seriously useful abilities.
- Wicker Picker gives all your creatures Sticker kicker, making every creature you cast capable of generating tickets. Be careful, though: Sticker kicker only lets you enstickerify the card that you just cast, not any nonland permanent you own.
- Command Performance is a great rate, since it generates for only two mana. Finishing Move also gains that much and doubles as a punch, which combos well if you decide to use a power and toughness sticker.
- And finally, Ticket Turbotubes is our theme-appropriate Manalith with upside.
Not every card has to generate the tickets directly, though. There's a few additional ways to get tickets outside of Unfinity cards:
- Since most cards that work with stickers have enter-the-battlefield triggers, Thassa, Deep-Dwelling is a great way to rapidly work your way up to that incredibly overpriced tiny gumball machine prize. Thassa, Deep-Dwelling also works really well with some value cards, such as Mulldrifter and Vile Entomber.
- Since tickets are technically counters put on a player, they can be Proliferated. Evolution Sage and Flux Channeler are the most efficient way to handle this since they turn all our artifacts and lands into free money.
Three Out of Ten
The problem with stickers, of course, is that the rules for them in Constructed are as much of a joke as Unfinity itself is. In Commander, we need to come prepared with ten separate sticker sheets, which is fine; however, we then need to randomly select only three of them to play the actual game with. Come on, Wizards! This is supposed to be a game about deckbuilding, not a game about how I follow the Commandments. (Ooh, thou shalt not commit adultery isn't on the menu today!)
What this means is that we're going to need to put together The Team: ten sticker sheets that we'll always be able to win with, no matter which three end up chosen. We'll also need to build our deck to handle The Team we choose, and the best way to handle that is to go through each sticker sheet. It's time to meet The Team:
Though the haste won't be extremely useful, being able to cast a permanent from your 'yard for just two additional life is the single best sticker in the game and it makes Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope a great inclusion for aggressive and speedy combos. If you're aiming to get a ton of mana out of a Lotus Petal, cards out of Mishra's Bauble, or you're simply trying to win with Serrated Scorpion and Phyrexian Arena or Gray Merchant of Asphodel, there's no better sheet to draw. Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope is also notable for having a 5-power sticker for just three, making this a decent combo with Marionette Master, too.
Cool Fluffy Loxodon is great at making permanents adept at jumping in and out of the fray. Drawing an additional card off your Mulldrifter or Thassa, Deep-Dwelling target can keep you huffing gas, while the 13/13 Eldrazi ability is just begging to be slammed onto Blighted Agent, Ukkima, Stalking Shadow, or Marionette Master.
Though not as explosive as some of the other sheets, Deep-Fried Plague Myr is a jack of all trades on offense and defense. There's a decent three-ticket 4/5 sticker here, and its four-ticket 8-power one is incredible value. Making your sacrifice targets or Evokers also blow up artifacts and enchantments will keep your opponents off their game for long enough to capitalize on your boosted power. Nested Shambler is great with this sheet in particular, since it's got a good combo of sacrifice enhancement and power boosting.
This is one of the best individual sticker sheets. Cheap 6-power sticker aside, that four-ticket destruction ability makes Giant Mana Cake deadly when combined with any of your free artifacts, such as Lotus Petal. While that first ability seems less than useful, don't count it out just yet: Cauldron Familiar is back from the hell that is Throne of Eldraine Standard, and this time, he's his own oven so long as you have a Viscera Seer to help him out. God help your enemies if you get this and Eldrazi Guacamole Tightrope in the same game.
Big, bulky, and tough to kill defines Phyrexian Midway Bamboozle. Undying doesn't quite have the combo potential of Persist (more on that later), but it's still a clean kill when applied to Triskelion, and it makes Mulldrifter and Foundation Breaker great value pieces. Undying is also entertaining to apply to Sagas; imagine The Eldest Reborn brought back into another The Eldest Reborn.
Finally, this sheet also has the legendary 6/9 sticker.
This sticker sheet just dispenses tons of resources for you to use throughout the game. Sacrificing a permanent to draw two cards is obviously fantastic for such a recursive deck, and attacking to Proliferate isn't too bad either when paired with an unblockable attacker or creatures with counters on them. And though the 8/7 sticker is pricey, this is another sheet that combos well with Nested Shambler and Syr Konrad, the Grim, especially since it provides the sac outlet, too.
A very defensive-leaning set. You're going to want to slap hexproof on Muldrotha as fast as possible to keep your opponents at bay, while the +X/+X ability does have some utility with the many artifacts that the deck runs. Enough spells in a turn should be enough to get a kill off of Blighted Agent, but you should try to win with other sticker sheets first.
I swear, this one isn't named the Sniper because of the goddamn hat. It's named the Sniper because it kills.
Persist on arbitrary permanents is incredibly powerful; whether it's infinite death triggers (and all the lands out of your deck) with Rampant Rejuvenator, or extending that to the whole board if Mikaeus, the Unhallowed is in play, or just an instant kill with Triskelion, you'll have a silver bullet to handle almost any situation. Even if you just end up using the Persist for value, that 10/10 sticker is still beautiful. Imagine taking down your opponents one headshot at a time with Blighted Agent.
Incidentally, if you roll Phyrexian Midway Bamboozle alongside this sheet, Persist and Undying on the same permanent is something you're going to have to try for.
The star of the show here is obviously the devious Infect, which transforms Serrated Scorpion, Ukkima, Stalking Shadow, and Syr Konrad, the Grim into insanely pressuring threats that have to be dealt with repeatedly. In fact, just putting Infect on Muldrotha itself could be enough to win the game if your removal is strong enough.
This final sheet has an amazing seven-power sticker for just three tickets, but don't let that overshadow the rest of the card: look at that first ability sticker! Turning your Tormod's Crypt into basically Regrowth as well is absolutely absurd value. Just resist the urge to try and put the stickered card itself back into your hand: your hand isn't a public zone. No Lotus Petal loops here, unfortunately.
If you're not a believer in stickers, I don't blame you. But this, out of any How They Brew It, benefits the most from playtesting. Seriously, give it a shot. You'd be surprised how consistently you can assemble some wacky kills. After that, check out the Discord and my other projects at my website to vote for my next deck. Remember, you have the power to make me write about more mechanics people viscerally hate. See you then!
Stick 'Em Up (Muldrotha, the Gravetide EDH)
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