Welcome! If this series of audiovisual images is flooding through your consciousness in a manner incongruous with your previous lived experiences, then let me be the first to say “Congratulations!” You’ve been deemed capable enough to be assimilated into the Sliver Hivemind in a manner other than as sustenance. We’re proud to have you as part of our winning team!
The success of our business isn’t just thanks to our world-class quality, blazing-fast service, or squeaky-clean facilities. We succeed because we’ve embodied our core values for over one hundred thousand years, which allows us to live up to the high standards our customers have come to expect from us. We strive to make every encounter with the Sliver Hivemind a memorable and satisfying experience for all of our patrons. None of this is possible without you, our humble drone, so keep watching to learn the ins-and-outs of your new livelihood!
Good afternoon, everyone! My name is Michael Celani, and I take pride in my position as your new general manager. Though some may find our advertising and hiring practices to be a bit extreme, you can’t argue with over 65 million served daily.
All this is thanks to our, who started the original Sliver Queen restaurant in Idaho in 1997. They were great at finding and keeping the talent that makes for a successful hivemind, and with enough threats of physical violence behind it, the franchise grew to the multi-billion dollar enterprise it is today!
Think of your coworkers as your new family, and remember to treat them with the same respect you’d want for yourself. Technically, they are, because you’re part of one single, interlinked being now!
Our employees are the lifeblood of our business, because we use them to coerce more customers to visit our restaurants and they’re also what we serve when they do. Ourcan fish up any one of these up tasty creatures on the fly:
, , and are all standard Slivers that make the typically weak creatures a bit more powerful in combat.
- Of course, these buffs are just a side dish to ‘s (and ‘s) filet mignon, which boosts the stats of your Slivers based on how many of them there are.
- If your opponent is walling you off and you want to avoid direct confrontations, try getting past their defenses by summoning or .
- You might prefer forcing blocks by threatening a huge activation, too. Swing wide and pump those that are unblocked to deal some significant damage!
- Alternatively, if you need extra mana, can do the trick by turning all your creatures into dorks.
- works the graveyard shift, in that it prevents the rest of your Slivers from going to the graveyard. It’s extraordinarily cheap to cast, and the activation is free!
- All three of those Slivers benefit from , which will let you activate those abilities as soon as they hit the battlefield.
- Slivers will be entering the battlefield a lot, too; you’ve got as a way to bounce your creatures in response to a threat, and you can even pair it with and for some extra value.
- straight-up makes your Slivers indestructible, which helps against one of their traditional counters in board wipes.
- Finally, is technically a Sliver, so you can search it up to make some Slivers entirely free – including and even your commander!
Occasionally, you’ll need someone with a special set of skills outside your Sliver selection, so useand to turn all the creature cards in your library into Slivers. This means will be able to fetch them using its activated ability!
Once you find those cards, try to search upas soon as you can so you can slash the price of finding new talent to . I can’t stress how powerful this feels; it literally triples your ability to pull cards from your library!
You may also finduseful to you. Target to change the word God to Sliver, so you can sacrifice it to give any Sliver you want an indestructible counter, or turn any creature into a Sliver. Alternatively, if you’ve got the budget for it, try changing the word “Faerie” on to Sliver – Bitterblossom itself becomes a Sliver, meaning the effects of and apply to it, too!
Remember, the first thing a patron sees when they pass through those double doors is a terrifying, fleshy monstrosity. A positive attitude goes a long way in getting our customers to come through that door again and again!
Sometimes, our potential sales will have too many
blockers competitors in front of them for us to make a substantial impression. That’s okay! All we have to do is goad all their creatures, and by the time it’s your turn again, we’ll be able to easily serve up some smiles.
- If there’s one creature you want out of commission no matter what, attach to it. This is especially effective against Voltron players if you can catch their commander with it before they get hexproof or shroud.
can attach itself directly to a to goad all the creatures of whomever it hits. It’s also a decent attacker on its own thanks to menace.
- works in a similar way, but extends the effect to any creature you control. Get three dorks through with , kick your feet up, and watch your competition knock eachother out while you wait to strike back.
is our best goad creature, since it affects all of our opponents at once, has a huge payoff for attacking creatures dying, and if you turn it into a Sliver with something like , you can return it to your hand using ‘s ability to do it all over again.
- is a decent one-time effect here too, though it’s substantially harder to recur.
- If all that doesn’t work, your opponents will have significantly fewer ways to handle , since it’s much easier to play a land than it is to hit them in the face and you’ll always have priority after it hits the battlefield for you to play a land.
A New Franchise
We here at the Sliver Hivemind believe that a direct mental connection with all of our drones is the best for our customers, our overlords, and most importantly—you. If you notice any early warning signs of organization, including any demands for a living wage or not to be mentally connected to their superiors, contact your nearest hunter squad immediately.
So you might think that all we do now is swing out with our Slivers to take out our opponents, right? Wrong! Think about it: whyinstead of ? Why instead of ? Why instead of ?
It’s time to learn about our motto, which is A.B.A: Always be assimilating.
Sure, goading all our enemy creatures may remove blockers for us next turn, but why let that attack go to waste? Withor on the field, all we’d have to do is cast to turn all of our opponent’s attacking creatures into Slivers, tremendously increasing their danger. Make sure you cast it only after attackers are declared, because otherwise they may decide to wimp out by tapping everything to something like .
The best part? Sinceis itself a Sliver, can search it out at instant speed!
The second best part?
You can just take your opponent’s creatures after combat. They’re Slivers, after all.
For those of you keeping track, the word Sliver appears 95 times in this article, meaning those of you who bet under on 100 won! Of course, gambling is strictly prohibited within the hivemind. We do not assimilate addictive personalities for this reason. You wouldn’t happen to be addicted to opening packs, would you?
Mind Hives (Sliver Overlord EDH)
Buy this decklist from TCGplayer