How They Brew It - Faint Attack

Michael Celani • March 14, 2022

Alesha, Who Smiles at Death by Anastasia Ovchinnikova

You're getting older, and you're going through some changes. Perhaps you've noticed that certain parts of your body have changed size. Maybe your voice has become more mature, or that you realize that you now have an embarrassing body odor. It's not just physical, either; you're changing mentally, emotionally, and socially as well. It's easy to feel like nobody understands you, but you're not alone. What's causing all these changes? Put simply, when you reach a certain age, your corpse may go through a process called reanimation. You've been raised by a necromancer, and your existence is now that of a tortured soul trapped inside a decaying prison. It's a confusing time, but it's an completely unnatural part of growing up.


Hopeless Necromantic

I'm Michael Celani, and I'm finally dead on the outside as well. Speaking as a reanimated corpse, you get used to it. Aside from food turning to ash in my mouth, relationships becoming legally dubious, and my insurance provider no longer covering me thanks to quote-unquote "preexisting conditions," dying over and over fighting another person's battles isn't so bad.

Alesha, Who Smiles at Death is a terrifying commander that can resurrect any creature with power 2 or less when she attacks, provided you pay . That Lazarus-for-the-rest-of-us comes back tapped and attacking, meaning we'll need to find a way to protect our creatures that doesn't involve Auras or Equipment. Luckily, there's a simple solution with ample support -- just tap down all the blockers!

On Tap

There's plenty of paperwork to do now that you've been resurrected. Obviously, you'll need a copy of your rebirth certificate before you can apply to jobs, find housing, or hire demons to take your ex-wife with you. Not to mention that, as a member of the walking dead, a lot of people will be vehemently opposed to your introduction to Magic. You'll need to stop any blockers that would get in your way.

  • Giant Killer can both seduce your mother and tap any creature for . His double life as a removal spell for large creatures also makes it possible for Alesha to get through even when your opponent is going as tall as a beanstalk.
  • Stern Constable requires that you discard a card to tap a creature, but that's a boon when you're running a reanimator commander.
  • If you want to get your entire army through, look no further than Shrieking Mogg. This dweeb taps all creatures when he enters the battlefield, and since you're already attacking, you won't be affected.
    • Add Smoke to keep things cool on defense and heated across the table. If you can bury and dig the Mogg back up consistently, you'll make it impossible for your opponents to crack back.
  • Thundersong Dooter doesn't quite tap a creature, but instead prevents it from attacking or blocking for a turn. This can be a substantial blowout against decks that take multiple combats, such as Moraug, Fury of Akoum.
  • Stun Sniper is a pinger that taps down larger threats it can't kill.
  • Dawnglare Invoker is a flying 2/1 with an activated ability that taps all creatures a player controls at instant speed. Sure, it costs , but when has practicality ever stopped How They Brew It before?
  • Gideon's Avenger gets stronger the more creatures become tapped, and if a Sleep effect hits the board, you're laughing.
  • Proud Mentor fetches Impetuous Protege, and they both work well together to frustrate the Voltron player with an indestructible double-striking 20/20 commander.
  • Here's a good one: Backlash taps an untapped creature and deals damage equal to its power to its controller. Think of it like a reverse-Fling you can use before combat.
  • Finally, consider an underutilized ability of Immovable Rod: targeting enemy lands. Ever wanted to shut off Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth, Glacial Chasm, or Field of the Dead?

Corpse Corps

Have you adjusted to your new way of unlife yet? The mourning sickness goes away, but if you still feel six feet under the weather, there's no better medicine than laughter. Of course, that's provided your windpipe made it. I'm sorry, Zombie Nathan Hale, you poor bastard.

Smile at death with Alesha by keeping this revivable rabble around:

  • Sign up another victim trooper when Imperial Recruiter hits the field. He's a rattlesnake on defense, too; nobody wants you to tutor multiple times.
  • Vile Entomber dunks your next target straight into the graveyard and has deathtouch to boot, making him a good first pick.
  • Of course, Alesha can only return creatures to the battlefield, but when Ardent Elementalist enters, you'll retrieve an instant or sorcery of your choice to your hand.
  • Solemn Simulacrum pairs well with Viscera Seer to keep your hand, land, and plan in tip-top shape.
  • Need to get back an artifact or enchantment? Trusty Doggo will dig it up like the good boy he is.
  • Karmic Guide revives anything else you might need and helpfully puts itself back in its coffin at the start of your next upkeep.
  • On the removal side of things, Duplicant knocks out a large creature for good and usually ends up attacking for far more than a 2/2.
  • All of these creatures trigger Mentor of the Meek and its spooky sister Welcoming Vampire to keep your hand as flush as your graveyard.

Peace Out

We've got a decent war machine going here, but just tapping creatures isn't enough to win the fight. No, we need to take those creatures to the grave with us. But how are we to do that, when we've spent so much time turning them sideways? The answer will blow your mind:

Nettling Imp and friends all have activated abilities that let you choose a non-Wall creature the active player has controlled continuously since the start of the turn -- in other words, any creature without summoning sickness owned by the player that's taking their turn. That creature is forced to attack, and if it doesn't, it dies. So all you have to do is wait for an opponent's turn, use the ability to make a dork obligated to swing, and then tap or otherwise incapacitate them. The poor fellow becomes so confused by their own rage that they blow up, and since this combo is set up by activated abilities, you can pull this trick constantly.

Of special note are Maddening Imp, Oracle en-Vec, and Total War. These cards apply this effect to multiple creatures your opponents control, so activate their abilities and then cast a card like Festival, Peacekeeper or Intimidation Bolt to wipe their whole board.

Best of all, all of these creatures are valid Alesha targets, meaning your opponents will have to put in a lot of work to save their boards from dying!

Gravy Train

They say you die twice; once when you pass, and once when someone says your name for the last time. My experiences with Alesha have convinced me that you can die way more than twice. Don't end up like I did. Avoid the graveyard shift.


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Newly appointed member of the FDIC and insured up to $150,000 per account, Michael Celani is the member of your playgroup that makes you go "oh no, it's that guy again." He's made a Twitter account @GamesfreakSA as well as other mistakes, and his decks have been featured on places like MTGMuddstah. You can join his Discord at https://gamesfreaksa.info and vote on which decks you want to see next. In addition to writing, he has a job, other hobbies, and friends.