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Public Belligerence System
Are you conflicted about conflict? When you try your hand at the art of war, does it come out looking like a Jackson Pollock painting? Do you wish the military-industrial complex was a little bit more military-industrial simple?
You’re watching Part 2 of the 12-part instructional VHS series Global Conflicts For Fun and Profit from The Strange Outliers. I’m Michael Celani, and you can find my previous entries here. If you haven’t seen Part 1, we recommend you pause this video and view that tape first. If you have, keep watching and we’ll pick up from where we last left off.
Now that you have a basic understanding of why everyone you murder was asking for it, let’s move on to the logistics of warfare. Just like life, the early bird gets the grease, so the players that move their commanders in early and often will dominate the battlefield. To demonstrate this, let’s examine a case study of a player who built Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh and Kydele, Chosen of Kruphix EDH to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand, kick off the July Crisis, and plunge Europe into World War I.
Kobold and Brash
Like a stray bullet, Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh is free and ruins people’s lives when it hits a loved one. There are many ways to take advantage of a zero-cost creature, and since this particular kobold is your commander, you’ve already started profiteering. Check out these tips that’ll have you making a mint on your investment.
- Although it’s no Atlas Shrugged, Tome of Legends is a page-turner in its own right, and a cheap commander makes it easy to add to the saga.
- Worried about losing your soldiers on the field? Make sure to keep your Commander’s Insight so you’ve always got the personnel you need to protect yourself.
- In your forces, loyalty is important. Loyal Apprentice, Loyal Drake and Loyal Guardian won’t leave you like your ex did, and just like your ex, they’re easily turned on by Rograkh.
- Speaking of your ex, Biowaste Blob is an army all on its own with its exponential growth of toxic sludge.
- Need to go out in a blaze of glory? Sacrifice your Skyfire Phoenix to Ashnod’s Altar, then raise it from the ashes by casting your commander. If it’s the first time you cast Rograkh, you’ll get six colorless mana!
- Finally, go on the offensive with Thunderfoot Baloth, which grants your entire squadron a substantial power boost and tramples over any resistance.
Fighting to a Draw
Although Rograkh is a powerhouse, make sure you don’t focus all your efforts on him alone. If you ignore the Kydelephant in the room, she may betray you just like Benedict Cumberbatch did during the American Revolution. Keep your supply lines running and infused with plenty of mana using some sharp spellslinging tactics.
- Instead of standard ramp spells like Cultivate, try Growth Spiral and Eureka Moment. You’ll empower Kydele and drop land onto the battlefield untapped.
- Dig into your library like you’re digging a defensive trench with Cathartic Reunion, Compulsive Research, and Frantic Search.
- For a more substantial return on your investment, try Windfall, Game Plan, or Return of the Wildspeaker.
- Worried about the resources you’re throwing in the trash? Throw the trash in the trash! Regrowth, Bala Ged Recovery and Eternal Witness each gets whatever you need back, and you can even recur your draw spells to keep digging.
- You’ll be unstoppable when your drummer boy taps out a Song of Creation.
- If you end up drawing a land at the start of the turn, remember that casting Rograkh will rescue you from your own hubris and keep your chain going.
- Spells are like French revolutions: betcha can’t have just one! Copy your big spells with Kalamax, the Stormsire or Wort, the Raidmother and watch the fireworks.
- While you copy spells, let Quandrix Apprentice, Archmage Emeritus, and Storm-Kiln Artist copy your homework. They’ll pay you back immediately by keeping the resources flowing.
- Once you unleash Kydele’s power, power out a gigantic Banefire or use a Prismite to refine it into something more useful.
Look, They’ll Eventually Become Oil, So It’s Still War-Related
Are you a theater kid, but like, theater of operations instead of Rent? Did you binge watch every season of the Hundred Years’ War? Do you have a Blackwater bottle?
You’re watching Part 8 of the 17-part instructional VHS series Global Conflicts For Fun and Profit from The Strange Outliers. If you haven’t seen the previous parts, we recommend you pause this video and view those tapes first. If you have, keep watching and we’ll pick up from where we last left off.
Now that the hippies have been neutralized, let’s talk about dinosaurs. Mutating Rograkh is like loading a shotgun with knives or a .357 Magnum with soccer moms. This gives you an obvious tactical advantage against any enemies you may encounter.
- You’ve heard of blood diamonds, but Gemrazer is ridiculous! Its stats turn Rograkh into a real threat and each mutation knocks out another artifact or enchantment.
- Lore Drakkis bombards enemies with cards from graveyards. With the deck’s stock of recovery spells at your disposal, you can easily recur anything you need.
- Migratory Greathorn, Auspicious Starrix and Illuna, Apex of Wishes all dump expensive permanents onto the field like one big pile of hit.
- Illuna will exile instant and sorceries permanently, so be judicious about casting it.
- Is the fallout from the global thermonuclear war not enough and you want to things to mutate even further? Crystal Shard and Sanctum of Eternity each bounce the entire stack to your hand so you can defy God’s will as many times as you’d like.
- Or cast Radiant Performer and mutate all your creatures simultaneously (yes, this works).
Chain of Command
Now that you’ve finished Part 8,675,309 of this 687474703a2f2f706172616c6c656c7265616c6974796572617375726570726f6772616d2e696e666f2f-part series, it’s time to look back and review the chain of command. As we discussed, most Storm players are happy to cast their spells all on one turn. What will really blow your mind is how you can chain your storm count out over several turns.
Fury Storm, Genesis Storm, and Echo Storm are duplicated for each time you’ve cast a commander from the command zone. By simply casting both of your generals once, they each resolve three times — no small feat, but we can go bigger.
Once you’ve resolved Myth Unbound, Rograkh costs only one for each time he’s been cast from the command zone. A second copy via Mirrormade or Mythos of Illuna makes him totally free. Each time you sacrifice him via Ashnod’s Altar or Goblin Bombardment ups the command count by one and draws you two cards. You’re guaranteed to find the tools to recur those self-copying spells, and you can pay for them all via Kydele’s mana ability. Copy your storm spells thirty times to win, or just throw down Jeska, Thrice Reborn and put your enemies out of their misery!
Spoils of War
Thanks again for watching Global Conflicts For Fun and Profit, from The Strange Outliers. Please remember to rewind each VHS tape before your collection agent comes to claim them. If you enjoyed this video series, consider watching our other series, including Kraken Up: Undersea Comedy Basics and Are We Still Doing Phasing? Remember: “Life is strange, so be an outlier.”
Chain of Command Rograkh and Kydele EDH
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