Duskmourn Set Review - White

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Grabbed by the Ghoulies
Good evening, ghouls and ghosts, I'm Michael Celani, and the house is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding house. Preview season is upon us, which means I am once again brooding, writing card reviews in the dead of night, in an icy cold room, alone. Good God, how I wish that was a joke.
Duskmourn: It Really Should Be Spelled Duskmourne is our target this time. Is it filled with horror, or is it filled with horrible? Let's find out together in this set review that is literally longer than the Magna Carta.
Mythics
Dollmaker's Shop // Porcelain Gallery
Let's talk about Rooms, a subtype with a name now forever unavailable to lands. We have a card called Kitchen
Pedantics aside, Rooms are a new enchantment subtype that Matt Tabak likes to call "split permanent cards." Pedantics considered, I don't think that's a particularly precise description of the mechanic. Put simply, Rooms let you cast either half of the card. Then, you can then pay the mana cost of the other side later to add its abilities to the permanent on the battlefield. In that sense, they play more like Classes
All this means that there's four states a Room can be in: one state with none of the two sides (doors) active (unlocked), two states with one door unlocked, and a final state with both doors unlocked. Like reviewing a Class, fully critiquing a Room necessarily requires us to investigate all four three of the states that actually matter.1 Luckily, we're starting with a great example, because it turns out that Dollmaker's Shop // Porcelain Gallery
Dollmaker's Shop
Previously, if you wanted this effect at the price point of two mana, you either had to attack with a specific creature
There's none of that here, and thankfully this version even avoids the common pitfall of generating the new dork tapped and attacking. In any sufficiently advanced board state, a 1/1 born tapped and attacking quickly becomes a dead 1/1, so it's nice knowing you'll have something left once you're done hitting your enemies.
The only major downside I can think of when casting Dollmaker's Shop
Yup, there's no sense beating around the bull in the china shop: Porcelain Gallery
Purists may scoff at this comparison, because Coat of Arms
In any given white go-wide deck, it would be pretty reasonable to have, say, five creatures on the board; assuming they have some sort of evasion (maybe they're Birds
Dollmaker's Shop
With that in mind, avoid casting Dollmaker's Shop
The best way to use this card is like a Craterhoof
Overlord of the Mistmoors
We did it, team! White finally got Grave Titan
Seriously, am I missing something? Other people seem to be on board with this card, but I'm really not seeing it.
To get it out of the way right now, the impending cost is a trap. Four turn cycles is way, way too long to wait to get a creature, and even if you were to play this on curve, it's only coming in on turn eight. Trying to generate creature tokens after impending this thing is like Homer Simpson trying to respond to an insult during a poker match: by the time you can pull it off, everyone's already gone home. Yes, you do get two flying 2/1s as a consolation prize, but that's tantamount to evoking Soul of Migration
So that leaves the only way to play this as a more-expensive, easier-to-remove Grave Titan
More like Overlord of the Missed More.
The Wandering Rescuer
Without her spark, is she really The Wanderer? Her shtick was that she had no control over where she planeswalked. I guess now she wanders just... cuz.
Regardless, one place this rescuer won't be wandering is the command zone. Putting a flash protection piece in a public zone that everyone can see for the entire game kind of ruins the point: you'll never be able to blow someone out if The Wandering Rescuer
In a sense, I guess that's a good thing, because it can deter your opponents from trying to interact with you in the first place, but that benefit is so nebulous and hard to quantify for most players that I think that she won't see much action. She doesn't have the color identity that saved the similarly defensive Kyodai, Soul of Kamigawa
I do like the card as a general protection piece, though. As someone who's played with Lost in the Maze
Slot this in to any given go-wide strategy; the typical buffs and anthems used in those decks pair well with The Wandering Rescuer
Rares
Dazzling Theater // Prop Room
Prop Room
This card is absolutely absurd at three mana. Let's start at the floor: giving all of your creatures vigilance by untapping them at the end of the turn, after they've swung for damage. This lets you both attack while leaving up defenses against your three opponents. Better yet, it even works on creatures that enter tapped and attacking, which is notably something that Brave the Sands
It also lets you activate abilities that cost not just on your own turn, but every single turn of the cycle. That's four times the activations. Imagine drawing twelve cards with Arcanis the Omnipotent
That's not to mention that it also works with go-wide commanders that tap creatures you control for value, too. Baylen, the Haymaker
Prop Room
The obvious winners here are decks that can play creature spells at instant speed. Sally Sparrow
I'll admit, it's not for every deck, but it is for a hell of a lot of them, and if a lot of your creatures say , you should seriously consider this.
Enduring Innocence
Instant staple, and it's not even close. It's a Welcoming Vampire
Ghostly Dancers
I'm going to be ranking the Eerie cards on the assumption that Eerie is just Constellation, because there aren't enough good Rooms in the game to really consider fully unlocking a Room as a common action. To be fair, none of them are bad; they just fall prey to Fair Charm Syndrome, where their individual components cost just a little bit too much for most players to consider the flexibility a worthwhile tradeoff. I don't know many people clamoring to put Meat Locker // Drowned Diner
Similarly, I'm going to more-or-less ignore triggers that open doors, because you'd have to get absurdly lucky to hit the four or so cards where picking the lock makes any real sense. I'm a fan of magical Christmasland -- I write How They Brew It, after all, the series that equips Spellweaver Volute
Now then: Ghostly Dancers
Whereas Archon of Sun's Grace
Outside that interaction, it's pretty obvious where this couple belongs. My Ghired, Mirror of the Wilds
Leyline of Hope
Leyline of Hope
A +2/+2 anthem at four mana is legitimately pretty great, especially one with as few hoops to jump through as "do the thing you want to do," but like the conundrum I mentioned when I reviewed Caduceus, Staff of Hermes
I did a bit of digging into Righteous Valkyrie
That deck cares deeply about Soul Sisters
That's the perfect kind of deck for Leyline of Hope
Redress Fate
Neat! A sidegrade to Brilliant Restoration
The miracle cost is a nice-to-have, but I think the only deck that can rely on it is the Aminatou, Veil Piercer
Reluctant Role Model
The Survival trigger doesn't matter. Luckily, Reluctant Role Model
Seriously, like The Ozolith
White-partnered Reyhan, Last of the Abzan
Secret Arcade // Dusty Parlor
Okay, what the hell. Secret Arcade
Secret Arcade
...I guess I should review Dusty Parlor
Soaring Lightbringer
Soaring Lightbringer
Honestly, though, it's a damn house there, especially in Kestia, the Cultivator
Split Up
Compared to a typical three-mana removal spell, like Generous Gift
This card is extremely good at either breaking through stale board states where nobody wants to risk a crackback or shutting off the one person that's scrappin' and flappin'. Remember, vigilance aside, you're always capable of switching the status of your creatures from untapped to tapped by going to combat, so you should almost always be able to engineer the result of this spell to leave you with the most creatures possible. If you can crew a Vehicle, even better.
The only blind spot this spell has is that it is won't be able to reliably hit untapped creatures with a activated ability, but given that you're also probably blowing up a substantial portion of enemy boards as collateral and that the going rate for dealing with one thing is already three mana, I'm never unhappy to see this.
Toby, Beastie Befriender
Can anyone tell me Where the Wild Things Are? Because they sure as hell didn't show up on this card.
The important part of Toby, Beastie Befriender
Don't worry, I'm not completely underwhelmed. I suspect Toby might play a role in some blink archetypes. The Beastie isn't legendary, so every time Toby enters, you get another one. Blink him a couple of times and you'll have a decent army to ward off enemy attacks.
Unidentified Hovership
Unidentified Hovership is just a narrower Reality Shift that you can blink, calling back to Skyclave Apparition, which is just a narrower Excise the Imperfect that you can blink. And it's pretty wholly a blink piece: if you're not blinking, you're missing it, since there's better instant-speed options at the same mana value.
Speaking to the restriction, five toughness or less is pretty broad when it comes to Magic's array of creatures, so you're probably going to be able to hit something on the board. Notably, one of the things you can hit are other manifested cards since they have a toughness of two. If you happen to have infinite blink, this decks your opponents; simply keep exiling the face-down creatures, because the manifest dread trigger is mandatory.
Uncommons & Commons
Exorcise
Make Your Move wasn't playable at three mana because Generous Gift and Stroke of Midnight exist. Moving it to two mana might have made it playable, as a power-crept Disenchant, but apparently only green gets to do that, so Exorcise was made into a sorcery.
Don't put this in your decks, guys; even at a decent price, sorcery-speed removal is just awful to play with.
Fear of Abduction
More like Fear of Getting Counterspelled, because this thing will two-for-one you in that case.
If you can get this Perfect Dark reject onto the battlefield any other way, do that, and if you can blink it in response to its enters trigger, do that too. Unfortunately, I feel like if you find yourself in a scenario where this is really strong at controlling the board, you should probably have already accrued enough value to win the game outright.
Glimmer Seeker
A little slow, but Glimmer Seeker always being capable of triggering Constellation or drawing cards means it's probably never outright bad. I don't think it survives combat all that often, though, so have some way to tap it through an ability, or make a deal with that one guy who just happens to control a 2/4.
Optimistic Scavenger
Pretty good if you land it early, especially if your enchantress deck cares about combat to any extent. Even just two or three counters on a bog-standard enchantress commander, like Sythis, Harvest's Hand, can make it decent at blocking, and believe me, stopping the mono-red player from chiseling away at your life total every turn adds up.
Patched Plaything
Blinking or reanimating Patched Plaything are both valid ways of getting a 4/3 double-striker for cheap. It's just that I don't know why you wouldn't put that effort into blinking or reanimating Combat Thresher instead, which trades a point of power for a whole card. Or, better yet, you could reanimate a Blightsteel Colossus and kill your opponent no matter what their life total is. Or even better, just pour root beer all over the Azorius control player's deck.
Shardmage's Rescue
I've actually always admired protection spells like Shardmage's Rescue, and being discounted to one instead of the usual two is a great development. While it doesn't provide indestructible the way Loran's Escape does, it triggers your enchantresses and leaves behind a buff for turns to come.
Plus, I like Nashi. I feel like he would livestream someone getting wrecked by this card and then remix it into a techno song.
Sheltered by Ghosts
The vast, vast majority of Commander removal use cases are covered by instant and sorcery spells. Off the top of my head, I can name Swords to Plowshares, Path to Exile, Generous Gift, Stroke of Midnight, Excise the Imperfect, Bovine Intervention, and Get Lost. All of those snipe creatures, some of those snipe more things, and some of them even exile their target. You could include these seven or so instants in any white deck and be completely fine on single-target removal.
This sucks, because there's actually an entirely separate category of white removal: enchantment-based. Whether it be enchantments that temporarily exile permanents or Auras that remove abilities from creatures, white has an entirely separate suite of cards that can deal with threats. And they're terrible.
Thinking logically, who in their right mind would play Banishing Light, a sorcery-speed card that temporarily exiles a nonland permanent, when you could play Excise the Imperfect instead, an instant-speed spell that permanently exiles that nonland permanent?
The only exceptions to this dominance are cards like Reprobation, which remove the abilities of a creature, and even then they're only popular because of the ever-present availability of commanders. In a world of Swords to Plowshares, is there any way to make enchantment-based removal generally competitive?
Maybe the enchantment can do more in addition to being removal? The issue here is that now you're bashing your head against Fair Charm Syndrome. Buried in the Garden is fine, but it's expensive, and now not only do Swords and Path still exist, Wild Growth and Birds of Paradise do, too. Spells like these are too overcosted to see play... until now.
Sheltered by Ghosts is the first Aura removal spell that I legitimately think I could see myself playing. It's costed fairly efficiently at two mana, and it provides not only ward (to help stave off the two-for-one), but also lifelink and a power boost. That's not a small buff to whatever you're enchanting, and as a bonus, you get to take away your opponent's best nonland permanent.
The best targets to hit with temporary removal like this are commanders, full stop. It provides an agonizing game for your opponent to play. They can choose to put their commander in the command zone, in which case you've effectively destroyed it while also buffing your creature at a fair rate, or they can keep it in exile and hope to draw a removal spell, in which case they lose access to their commander. This is especially effective if backed up by countermagic because if they gamble their gameplan on being able to blow up your Aura with a Disenchant, you can counter it and leave them down an extreme amount of tempo.
Splitskin Doll
I don't know who was clamoring for a slightly-harder-to-use Spirited Companion, but here we are. I guess if you really want, you can use this as a discard outlet for a reanimator deck, though a repeatable artifact, like Collector's Vault, serves that purpose much better.
Unwanted Remake
I get the desire to iterate on Swords to Plowshares and Path to Exile, but I'm not convinced there's any demand for a new (and frankly, worse) installment in this series. Surprisingly appropriate name.
Downgrading from exile to destroy and letting your opponent manifest dread means that this is a bad removal spell against graveyard decks in particular. It just stocks the graveyard too well. I guess I like this more than Condemn, but not by much.
Final Destination
My conclusion? You really gotta love enchantments if you wanna pick up this set. Anything that's not an enchantment or enchantment-focused is kind of unexciting for white. But that's what you get when you get a top-down set like this: a lot of pieces for a very specific list, and nothin' else. Maybe the other colors have some better general-purpose spells; go check out the other reviews to find out. See you in the sequel, where I will be replaced with another actor after being aged up twenty years!
- Most decks generally won't have to worry about the scenario where both doors are barred up. The feng shui of the Room only gets screwed up this bad if the enchantment manages to enter the battlefield without being cast, and in that case, all Room cards are the same: nameless, 0-cost enchantments that do nothing. This caveat renders Rooms particularly bad permanents to recur or blink out. Doing either of those isn't a typical play pattern for enchantments, so most decks won't care, but some will, and for those of you looking for new pieces there, I'm sorry to say that this set's gonna be a dud for you.
- Is this meme still relevant in any way? Do people even get it?