Could / Would / Should - Blue Playtest Cards

Welcome back to Could / Would / Should, the series where I evaluate things that don't legally exist, starting with my marriage as of two days ago.
This time, I'm tackling every blue playtest card from Mystery Booster: Convention Edition and ranking them by if they could, would, and should be printed into Commander. I'll also crown the champion card that absolutely should be legal in the format, regardless of if my mother approves. Let's go!
Animate Spell
Animate Spell
Couldn't: A point in its favor is that it's about as weird as Spellweaver Volute
Wouldn't: Even ignoring that, the major thing holding Animate Spell
- Only targets instants and sorceries,
- Gives your opponents a huge creature, and
- Lets them cast the spell they wanted to anyway?
Remember, Swan Song
Should: And yet, there's something to be said for how flexible this card is. Sure, you can target an enemy spell for a cheap Delay
Biting Remark
Aren't Inklings a Silverquill thing?
Could: Biting Remark
Would: It's cute enough as a one-off effect in a Future Sight II. I doubt this gets fleshed out into a full mechanic, though, because a Limited format with Scrycast as a major component sounds like hell.
Should: I like the idea, and if we're in agreement that Scrycast is a one-off at best, at least a 3/3 flyer for four is decent enough on its own if it doesn't pan out.
Command the Chaff
Command the Chaff
Could: Though this would be printed in Conspiracy III: Grassy Gnoll and nowhere else. Luckily, it's costed high enough that it wouldn't make a major dent in any constructed format.
Would: If Learn and Companion are any indication, it's that sideboards are no longer the safe havens for that fifth copy of Plummet
Shouldn't: Though maybe I'm just tainted by my own experiences of drawing this and then getting nothing out of it.
Control Win Condition
Wait a minute, this isn't a Control Win Condition
Could: Sure, nothing on this card is magically impossible...
Wouldn't: ...but it's such a headache! Control Win Condition
Shouldn't: Don't make cards that force additional bookkeeping if you can avoid it.
Do-Over
I didn't think it was possible to over-do how blue a card could be, but here we are with Do-Over
Couldn't: I can't imagine the phrases "as best you can" and "do the rest at random" boding well for a card's printability.
Wouldn't: Picture a World Championship hinging on how players resolve this monstrosity.
Shouldn't: Don't make cards that force additional bookkeeping if you can avoid it.
Enchantmentize
Form of the Mulldrifter
Form of the Mulldrifter
Could: If Garth One-Eye
Would: Sure, it's a powerful draw engine, and it sets up reanimator decks really well, but it costs five mana to cast, and each Evoke costs another three on top of it. It makes up for it by drawing you two cards when it enters, but this is just slow enough that it's plausible.
Absolutely Should: Izzet Squee, the Immortal
Innocuous Insect
This card looks like chaff, but actually might be too good, which means the flavor is on-point. A flashable, flying 2/1 for three is already decent value, but Innocuous Insect
Could: Buyback is specifically worded to say "put this spell back into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard," but I don't know why they can't pull a flashback and change it to "instead of anywhere else."
Would: The infinite mana sink portion of this isn't enough to scare Wizards off of printing it. Compare it to Whispers of the Muse
Should: This is the pack rare that will make new players frown when they see it and experienced players nod in quiet approval.
Jasconian Isle
Island Fish Jasconius
Could: Since there's a direct parallel in Dryad Arbor
Wouldn't: The problem with them is that Amulet of Vigor
Shouldn't: If we're going to revisit land creatures, they shouldn't be fetchable, and the ones that are can't have a toughness that dodges Lightning Bolt
Khod, Etlan Shiis Envoy
Khod, Etlan Shiis Envoy
His ability that turns everything into Islands in addition to their other types is obviously meant to synergize with islandwalking Merfolk. It enables some pretty disgusting Ninjutsu effects, provided he's not removed before blockers, but even letting them connect for the damage alone is worth it considering the static buff. Nothing's more terrifying than the seven damage a turn the early game Merfolk flunges threaten when Master of the Pearl Trident
Khod is also relevant in the ninety-nine of a land-hacking deck. He's a perfect springboard for your Carpet of Flowers
If you're looking to build around Homarids or Cephalids -- an odd choice as they have no coherent identity -- you could do worse than a flat buff, though I'd rather run Aboshan, Cephalid Emperor
Could: It's worth noting that neither Camarids nor Nautilids exist, but everything else about Cape Cod potato chips is above board.
Would: It's a reasonably priced, effective tool for Merfolk with enough layers underneath it not to be pigeonholed into that strategy -- all hallmarks of an excellent Commander.
Should: You can even make an Islandhome tribal deck if you prefer to ignore that it's no longer a keyword.
Learned Learner
Realistically, you're only drawing cards off Learned Learner
Could: There's nothing that seems super problematic with him rule-wise.
Wouldn't: And while there's nothing wrong with the card itself, the environment he'd need to be in to see consistent value out of him seems too jank to be actively designed towards.
Should: Though I wish he had a second ability that's a stronger drawing effect if your hand size was less than seven or even zero.
Loopy Lobster
And with a somersaulting cheese factory, I can get triple the cheese output...
Could: If you abstract it a bunch, four-faced really isn't all that different from a Saga. Something triggers it to change chapters, it performs the action corresponding to that stage. I just hope the inevitable counter Wizards would create to track the ability isn't called a "face token," because that sounds... sinister.
Wouldn't: I imagine that playtesting Loopy Lobster
Shouldn't: "Okay, which state is Loopy Lobster on?"
Memory Bank
I hate when large corporations recycle things from twenty years ago, because now I can't say "Hey, remember that show The Weakest Link?" in reference to the Bank mechanic. Damn you, NBC!
Could: This is a "soft could" in the way Command the Chaff
Wouldn't: Are you joking?! This effectively lets players who draw out game one start game two with a substantially larger hand. If Companion was malignant, it would be Bank.
Shouldn't: The only bank card that should matter in Magic: the Gathering is the one that lets you withdraw funds to purchase more packs.
Recycla-bird
All that's missing, ironically enough, is the Cycling.
Could: Flying counters weren't real when this was originally designed, but now that they are, this looks painfully vanilla.
Would: I can't wait to see this at common in Magic's hottest new Summer 2025 set, Ikoria II: Size Doesn't Matter.
Should: But only with the art untouched. Part Rawk Hawk, part Pistols for Pandas, all husband.
Squidnapper
Back during the Adventures in the Forgotten Realms prerelease, I remember it was game three, my opponent was tapped out, and all I had to do to get through for lethal was to remove one blocker. Luckily, I top-decked the perfect answer. I smirked, flicked it out from my hand, and said "Mind Flayer
I think about this maybe once a week.
Could: Of course, Squidnapper
Would: Though I shudder to think of how poorly a Ransom-flavored Commander precon would go over. Welcome to Magic: the Gathering, the game where you negotiate with terrorists.
Should: If only because the idea of paying ludicrous sums of mana to get past your opponent's plans worked so well for Ward. I'm all for slowly and secretly reintroducing Rhystic back into the game.
The Grand Tour
The Grand Tour
Couldn't: At first glance this seems fine, but the problem is that they decided to make the top of your library a pit stop. That zone, unlike the others on the card, is supposed to be hidden, so it's strange to track something through there. The rest of them aren't perfect, either; imagine the replacement effect hells of Madness and Library of Leng
Wouldn't: Cowards.
Shouldn't: But then again, I don't want to deal with whatever monstrosity is built to abuse this, either.
Time Sidewalk
I wish this abomination didn't poison the well for the idea of token cards, because I can't look at Time Sidewalk
Couldn't: Tokens can't exist in the library, thanks to state-based actions. The rulings for Time Sidewalk specify that token cards can, but then you get to the question of the original wordings of something like Teferi's Realm
Wouldn't: Wizards wants to prevent you from screwing up your deck during shuffling if at all possible, which is why you don't see things like ramp spells that create token lands.
Shouldn't: Presumably, the downside of Time Sidewalk
Truth or Dare
Truth or Dare
Could: Nothing special here, though it's weird to see a permanent effect like this from a sorcery. It reminds me a bit of Riding the Dilu Horse
Wouldn't: Woof, this is rough. This card either slows the game to a crawl as a player uses their perfect knowledge of the game to attempt to guarantee victory, or it puts your opponent on a ten-turn clock. Add in some targeted draw, like Blue Sun's Zenith
Shouldn't: It's not even the correct color identity: this should clearly be Izzet.
Visitor from Planet Q
Couldn't: The second part is fine, but the first part is too weird. It's unfortunate, because flash always felt like a kludge to me.
Wouldn't: If Wizards really wanted to, they could do a massive Gatherer update to make instant a supertype, changing all instances of instant on cards to "instant sorcery" or "noninstant sorcery." It also cuts down on the phrase "instants and sorceries" we see on a lot of spellslinger cards to just "sorceries," which feels nicer.
Should: Do it, you cowards. I've done harder refactors at work.
Come back eventually, when I'll pick another pool of cards to could / would / should. See you!