Commander Player Becomes Canadian Highlander Player after Identity Stolen

Windsor, ON - Local Canadian Highlander player Quentin Lemongrass has become a fan of the format even though he was forced into it after having his once-precious commander lost to him.

Lemongrass claimed his former commander, Gonti, Canny Acquisitor, was stolen during a table flip incident at his local game store a few months ago during a particularly intense game.

"This whole thing was devastating, at the start," explained Lemongrass as he looked into a mirror that oddly had no reflection. "A while ago I was playing in a pod with some new players, and one got intensely angry with the fact that I had a bunch of his cards on my field due to a overly large Villainous Wealth cast. One thing led to another and the table was turned, literally, and both of our decks were strewn across the floor. As I tried putting my deck together while getting yelled at by that dastardly noob, I somehow misplaced Gonti; I bet that bastard took it.

"For weeks afterwards, I felt lost. I know it's just a card, but I just couldn't feel like myself after losing Gonti. Food didn't taste the same, colors looked different, and I had no desire to purchase a single Secret Lair product. I was in a bad place for a long time. The only bright spot these past few months is being accepted into a support group for people who lost their commanders. I've been shown that our decks are just as good without a commander, and we don't have to just be reduced to a color identity."

The "support group" Lemongrass mentioned is actually a Canadian Highlander group who gets together on Tuesdays, but they continue to let him think they're just a support group.

"Quentin came to us looking so sad, we all decided that we had to help him," explained Lottie James, a member of the Canadian Highlander group who welcomed Lemongrass. "But I think he thinks this is a bigger deal than it is. Sure, we get along and we're super supportive of each other, but this isn't some ten-step program or anything; we just needed another player because, like, no one plays Canadian Highlander. It feels a bit weird gaslighting this guy, but it's better than playing against the same three decks every week."

At press time, Gonti had been found and returned to Lemongrass, who discarded the commander card, claiming that he had "moved on".