Am I The Bolas? - Knocked Out Early
Maelstrom Wanderer Illustrated by Thomas M. Baxa
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com! You might see your story in the column. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, the guy on the hunt to find you the perfect holiday gift!
MUST FIND MORE!
This week,
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)
HEY, MIKE/MARK!
I found your column just a day or so ago and I have been reading it non-stop. It's so interesting!
Anyway, lately the last few EDH games I've been playing have made the salt start to flow and got me wondering if I was the Bolas.
Example No. 1:
I'm playing Bane, Lord of Darkness. Other decks in the pod are Zndrsplt, Eye of Wisdom/Okaun, Eye of Chaos, Hakbal of the Surging Soul, and Anikthea, Hand of Erebos. It's about turn seven, I have four lands and nothing on the board.
Basically the whole game, I've been doing nothing. I don't even have the right colors for Bane!
Then, the Zndrsplt/Okaun player one-shots me at 39 life with, like, ten coin flips with Okaun, because everyone else has blockers. I'm dead and the coin flip player eventually wins the game. I'm feeling kind of down, and please note that this is a Power Level 6-8 group.
Example No. 2:
I'm playing on Spelltable against Bonny Pall, Clearcutter, Grolnok, the Omnivore, and I forget the last one. I'm playing my Maelstrom Wanderer deck.
Since my deck is kind of infamous for stealing games out of nowhere, I'm getting pretty beat up. I'm at 21, and everyone else is at 30-40. It's also turn seven and the Bonny Pall player has a 25/25 Realm Seekers. I have no blockers since all my stuff was removed. I, somehow, did not get any ramp that game in my big creatures deck! So I die to Realm Seekers and the game goes on another hour.
Recently to my playgroup, I've been vocally upset that I'm always killed first, usually with a huge alpha-strike out of nowhere.
Here comes the big question. Am I the Bolas for feeling this way? It's like my decks never really take off and I'm just dead, sometimes mana-starved, and usually pretty salty.
To whom it may concern,
Temur Enjoyer
HOWDY, TEMUR ENJOYER
Thank you for writing in and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here or on the podcast.
Let's get this out of the way. You're not the Bolas for feeling upset that your decks don't get to take off in your playgroup. That's a frustrating experience. You spend all this time trying to put a deck together and hope to see it unfold. I get that. It's a feeling we all have to feel and learn to calm because it's probably not the last time! This could be a short article. We could end it here.
But I do have a few thoughts. Your opponents came at you for different reasons: one because you had no blockers and the other because they know your deck to pop off so they remove things or send the beats. Both stories here are about being mana screwed and not having the resources or ability to protect yourself.
I don't know what the aversion to playing the meta is, but I'll tell you it's probably worth it here. Your opponents are targeting your Maelstrom Wanderer deck because it can go off; is Wanderer best for the head of the deck? Is it a signal to your playgroup that you're going to be laying in the beats?
Are there lower-curve plays that you could swap in to help you absorb some of the hate? Maybe you need more ramp. Maybe - and this is a lot of people - you need to play more lands! We all could be playing a few more lands, let's be real. Lots of MDFC lands to include.
If you're losing a bunch of games because you're being targeted or because you're mana screwed, that's Magic, baby! You gotta play games, lose games, go back to the drawing board, and make some changes. That's part of the fun and the juice of the game: finding out what really makes the cut for you.
The ever-evolving lists and the variety of interactions. Shuffle up and play another game, see if it was just fate that gave you a bad draw. Or realize that some stuff is dead weight and you can make a change from a maybeboard you've got cooking.
I think you should focus on that stuff as a positive. I don't think it's entirely fair to tell off your playgroups because you get taken out early and expect them to just leave you alone because you asked nice. Maelstrom Wanderer is a scary commander, and some decks need to swing in for value.
It makes sense to come at you! If you find yourself thinking this often enough, you are the master of your own destiny, my friend. Make some cuts and pop in things that'll get you there without worrying about your opponents.
Anyway, that's what I've got for ya this week.
