A Rule Zero Conversation With A Democrat Insider
WASHINGTON, DC — Hey, welcome to the pod. I see you’re new to the shop, so let’s take a moment to have a rule zero conversation and get to introduce ourselves. I’m Jean, I’m a staffer at Senator Schumer’s office, and this is my Círdan the Shipwright deck. It’s a bit of a group hug deck, I’m always willing to reach across the table to help a friend, and a bit slow to get things started, but it incentivizes voting and table politics so that one turn we might be able to put something big like an Omniscience into play. Sure, it hasn’t happened in any of the games yet, but I hope to one day.
Over here is Emmanuel. He is a consultant and strategist from Democrat HQ. He has his The Archimandrite deck with him, a Persistent Petitioners build. It’s pretty cool to look at, all of his Petitioners were from the Secret Lair releases, so he spent a lot of money getting that together. Though the list tends to be a bit out of touch lately, and everyone has generally figured out how to beat it. Still, Emmanuel had a strong streak with Mill a decade ago, so I trust he knows what he’s doing.
And here’s our regular, Darren. He works with Jim Jordan’s office across the aisle. He has a really teched out Nicol Bolas, the Ravager deck with a couple game changers in it. Normally we don’t put them in our decks to keep them fair, but Darren has always asked nicely and promises not to use them, and we really can’t stop that. Suffice to say, he usually manages to rip apart our hands most games and win one way or another, but that’s just how things go here at the shop.
So anyway, what did you say you were on? Alesha, Who Smiles at Death? Okay, so, we’re going to let you know off the bat that those kind of decks tend to be a bit “Kill on Sight” lately. Alesha might have been fine back in 2014, but Darren has been a bit vocal about how “DEI” the game has been getting, and we don’t want to have to push back on him. Plus, think of what it will look like for a graveyard deck to have to deal with Emmanuel’s mill? I just don’t think it’s a good mesh, you know. If you want to go Mardu, I have a Caesar, Legion’s Emperor deck you can use. It’s an aggro build, but it has trouble getting around its own Abyssal Persecutor some times.
No one is going to complain about a white dude, right?
Wait, come back! We need you for this. If you don’t play, Darren is just going to win again and again. Think of how unfun that would be for the rest of us, and it would be all your fault. Don’t leave. Please, I need you to vote with me.
