Following Campaign Promises, Niv-Mizzet Fills in Skarrg Rage Pits
THE RUBBLEBELT, RAVNICA — In a move locals describe as “surprising” and “welcomingly needed”, the oft-maligned fiery pits of rubble surrounding the Gruul guild halls at Skarrg were repaired by Ravnica city crews earlier this morning. “This is just one small victory in the plan I outlined during my campaign,” the Living Guildpact and Draconic Figurehead Leader of the city told reporters at an impromptu press conference at the scene, “and I’m not close to finished yet.”
It may look rough, but the local food scene is amazing.
“Getting around the area has always been a hassle,” local businessman Glib Ixhova tells the Commander’s Herald. “The road is constantly torn up, so either I have to risk an axel getting to work every day, or take my chances on Tin Street during rush hour.” Skarrg, once a pre-Guildpact royal palace, had often been overlooked in years prior to Niv-Mizzet becoming the city leader. “I don’t think the street has been repaired, well, ever.” Ixhova added.
“It was strange. We just went to village hall to get a permit for a barbecue,” two headed giant pair and Gruul clansmen Braak-Liraub tells us. “We told Niv-Mizzet our plans, and suddenly his eyes light up. ‘Skarrg, perfect, I can get an easy win there!’ he said before flying off. We wake up the next morning, and there’s already a road crew fixing everything up.” The new roadway now includes expanded walkways, a protected bike lane, and special signaling for high-occupancy leviathans serving the district.
“We’ve been trying for years to get the streets around here fixed. Sometimes we think we’re the forgotten guild.” Gruul leader Borborygmous (not the enraged one) says plans under Guildpact Jace kept getting delayed for undisclosed reasons he attributes to “absenteeism”. Before that, Borborygmous tells us the Augustin IV administration, long decried as corrupt, demanded “additional payment” before they would even consider the work. “We’re just a low-to-the-ground aggressive guild. We can’t afford to pay an additional 1 every time we ask for something.”
When asked what prompted such a quick turnaround on the project, Niv-Mizzet was quick to say he was dedicated to “showing that Ravnica is the greatest city in the multiverse, using every tool I have at my disposal. I want people from all walks of live to come through those omenpaths and see everything that’s great about our plane. And that starts with Skarrg, the Rage Park and Pavilion.” He then proceeded to blow a series of fireballs into the sky as an impromptu fireworks celebration for the project.
Not everyone is happy with the fix, however. “How do they intend to pay for all of these fixes? More taxes, that’s how,” Karlov of the Orzhov Ghost Counsel penned in an open letter to The Economist. “If things keep getting worse, I may just pack up and leave Ravnica for good,” he continued. “It’s a shame so much time is being wasted over on the Gruul side of town”, one member of the Dimir who asked not to be named said to the Commander’s Herald. “Things over there are always a wreck. We spend centuries living in secrecy, and they have the nerve to say they’re the forgotten ones!”
