RFK Jr. Shouts At Reporter Claiming He’s Corrupt While Clearly Having Three Poison Counters

Washington, D.C – Over the weekend, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. became angered with Dana Bash on the CNN program State of the Union during a discussion about measles and other diseases.

While video of the interview has circulated on social media, Commander’s Herald has obtained a copy of the full interview RFK Jr. gave, including an exchange after Bash called Kennedy “corrupted”. Due to the nature of the excised clip, it’s clear to see why RFK Jr. wanted this section of the interview removed.

After grilling him on his stance on COVID, Bash calls Kennedy “corrupted by external forces” and tells him that he “isn’t looking very good”. At this, Kennedy begins gutturally laughing as a black bile begins seeping from the corner of his mouth. “Are you kidding me right now? I’m in the best shape of my life!” scratches its way from Kennedy’s now-glistening ebony maw, a sound only barely understandable by human ears or mind. “You call me corrupted when we know Faucci took money from Chinese nationals, which is something I just said so it must be true!”

Bash responds with “No, sir, I’m saying you’re corrupted because according to the rules of Magic: The Gathering and the ability created for the expansion Phyrexia: All Will Be One, because you have what looks like three poison counters at least, you are legally considered corrupted.” While she makes this explanation Kennedy continues his chorus of agony by wailing in an inorganic tongue, blocking out all other sound in the studio.

A linguist we contacted to make sense of the next section of the interview believes Kennedy then screams “That’s just like you liberals to make up rules for some game and then shove them on us! First you make up climate change, then you make up COVID-19, now you say just because I have ichor pouring from my mouth that I must be infected by something! In fact I’m feeling better than ever since I ate that sinew-and-teeth-covered creature I hit with my SUV last week; it grilled up real nice!”

As of press time, Kennedy was reported to be undergoing a strict regime of Leeches to remove the poison he claimed he did not have.