Seven Alternate Options for Students That Didn’t Get Into Strixhaven

The new school year is right around the corner. If this sends a shiver down your spine as a parent, it may be because your child was one of the many who didn’t make it into this year’s class at Strixhaven, the premier academy of education on the plane of Arcavios. Don’t fret, as we here at the Commander’s Herald are here to help, with this helpful guide to some of the multiverse’s other education opportunities. See if any of the following would be right for your child’s future!

King Brago Memorial Prep (Paliano, Fiora)

The most prestigious option on the list, Brago Prep boasts the highest graduation rate and lowest class size across the multiverse. Many of Paliano’s most esteemed elites, including Queen Marchessa herself, have passed through these halls. However, admissions are tight. Prospective students have to pay a high admission fee, pass difficult admission exams, and murder on average 5 rival candidates to make it in.

St. Traft’s Sigardian Primary School (Gavony, Innistrad)

A more traditional opportunity awaits at St. Traft Primary, providing a well-rounded education based around the teachings of the Church of Sigarda. Some have complained in the past the school is not welcoming to members of other faiths or those of the LGBT community, but those that graduated swear by it to their therapists. Expect strict discipline, bruised knuckles, and just a bit of Eldrazification.

New Capenna Public School 67 (The Mezzio, New Capenna)

Backed by the City of New Capenna, PS 67 is the cheapest and most accessible option on this list, being free for all city residents. While the school offers a diverse student body and a centralized location, many parents have complained about class sizes and faculty burnout after PS 68 was used to kill Atraxa. School officials have assured us that the principal running off with the field trip money was “a one time thing”.

EVRY Academy (Cloudspire City, Kylem)

Standing for “Enabling Valor’s Reach Youth”, EVRY Academy boasts itself as a “State-of-the-art charter school designed to help students in all aspects of their development”. The school is a leading development hub for multiverse athletes, including championship teams for Mage Tower, Martial Magic, Matca, Oltec Sunball, and Kaijudo. Critics have pointed out that while a majority of the schools funds go to sports training and facilities, most actual education is handled by student teachers connecting remotely from Segovia State University.

Boros Military Academy (Eighth District, Ravnica)

The oldest and most vaunted of options, BMA has turned young children into military elite since the early days of the Guildpact. The academy offers dormitory housing and round-the-clock education opportunities, training the next generation of generals, police officers, and other fine purveyors of state violence. Beyond the traditional curriculum, expect additional classes such as “military tactics”, “weapon maintenance”, and “how to hide the bruises”.

The Valgavoth Society for Home Education (House, Duskmourn)

Do none of the other options work for you and your very narrow worldview? Then the Valgavoth Society for Home Education wants to show you that you can simply teach your kids where they already live (pending DCFS review). They assure us the house is the best and safest place for you and your children, even if their listed graduation rate is in the negative numbers. In-House education offers many learning opporuntities not available at mainline schools such as Floodpits Swimming, Paranormal Science, and Helping Seneschal Victor with His Etsy Business.

Hexhaven (Location TBD)

The newest and most anticipated option we present today is the new Charter school from former Guildpact and self-proclaimed “Theorist” Jace Belleren. Slated to open by this fall, details are still being worked out with regards to who will be attending and who will be teachings. “The Theorist” assures us all staff have been personally vetted him himself, and I shouldn’t be concerned about the dopplegangers of the Commander’s Herald staff I saw on the way in. While the address listed on the school’s website lead to an abandoned K-Mart, Belleren assures us everything will be “in readiness” in time for the school’s first Mage Tower game against EVRY Academy later this fall.