Urza/Tergrid Player at Commander Pride Event Insists Partner Pair is “Queer-coded”

GAY, GA — The Herald took some time away from interrogating AI chatbots and harassing Wizards management to head to our local game store and participate in a game of commander for Magic Presents: Pride 2026 in order to get that sweet, sweet Gilded Lotus promotional card for our “Everything disproving the War of the Spark novels”-themed commander deck.

After receiving our promotional card and the encouragement to “share both our bracket information and what inspired us to build our deck”, we were quickly ushered away to a nearby table. We (the polycule of 14 writers who comprise The Herald’s editorial staff) sat down at a small table with three other folks: a buff woman in a flannel shirt, a gender-screwy person with far too many facial piercings, and a young man with deep semicircles under his eyes repeatedly dodging our gaze.

We introduce ourselves, our Chandra, Fire of Kaladesh x Nissa, Vastwood Seer deck in desperate need of that promo card, and announce that we are playing a bracket 2 deck.

The young woman speaks up next. “Hi, I’m Joan, and I’m playing Vanille and Fang from Final Fantasy XIII. Clearly they are gay, the game basically confirms it, and WOTC are cowards for not giving them Partner in the first place. I’m probably a bracket 2? I don’t know that system super well, but it’s about a power level 7.”

“My name is Jund, I’m playing Felothar and Alesha; I think their dual transition journeys show the progress and trailblazing beauty of transition across the various clans and timelines of Tarkir,” says the many-pierced stranger, piping up next. “Also, that puts me in WBRG, which is good because blue is a color for cowards. I’m bracket 2 as well.”

The meek man speaks up next, slowly unrolling his playmat, which prominently features an image of Chandra and Liliana making out and wearing only skimpy chain lingerie. “I’m Johnny and I am playing Urza and Tergrid. I uhh… I built this deck because I like them both a lot and they are both basically super queer. It’s technically bracket 3. But no game changers other than Tergrid and I probably can’t win before turn 8, probably.”

We all shuffle up our decks, keep our hands and Johnny wins the die roll. His lightly-Cheeto-dusted fingers draw his first card, clad in a strange art-sleeve of what appears to be an anime character in a bikini, who we are all sure must be 1000 years old despite her modest height and childlike features.

As he plays his turn (Swamp, Dark ritual, Sol Ring, Lotus Petal, into Tergrid), he strikes up some polite conversation. “You know, Tergrid is probably a trans woman too,” He says, turning to Jund.

Jund gives him a look that we cannot interpret due to the copious amounts of metal in their face.

“It’s true!” he continues, as he passes his turn to the perforated enby. “She was born with a dark shadow looming over her, terrorizing everyone around her. Clearly, it’s meant to be her assigned gender as a man-I mean as someone socialized male. Plus, her lore says she blurts things out at inappropriate times and it scares people – we love comorbid autistic trans representation!”

As he continues to ramble on about Tergrid’s ‘clearly masculine canthal tilt’, the game slowly progresses. We all play out a few early mana dorks, only to have them Smallpoxed twice, thanks to a Snapcaster flashback.

As we round Joan’s turn 4, she attempts to change the conversation topic. “So, I appreciate that you are also playing a lesbian couple that has been unfairly retconned into nonexistence,” she says, pointing to the copy of War of the Spark: Forsaken that we keep alongside our deck for quick reference. “Do you think that these stories can be reclaimed as a confirmation of the existence of comp-het? And beyond that, do you think representation has to come first, or do changing cultural attitudes allow for more diversity in stories?”

Before we can respond, Johnny chimes in again as he casts Urza for the first time. “Urza actually faced something similar, actually,” he says, tapping his Sphere of Resistance and Thorn of Amethyst to cast Brainstorm. “He was in a mixed-race marriage with Queen Kayla bin-Kroog, and that was written in the 90s when that probably wasn’t very cool with most people. Super progressive for its time, before we solved racism it was basically as bad as being gay.”

Trying to keep an even tone, Joan responds. “Well, what we are talking about are marginalized sexual and gender identities. You can’t really compare those to race or cultural background easily-”

“Um, but you can, because I did. Also, he’s actually a sexual minority too.” Johnny says, cutting her off and casting Force of Will on her Vanille. “He’s actually really good asexual representation because he only married her for the money and power and really didn’t want to consummate the marriage because he wanted to start a war instead.”

Visibly annoyed, Joan scoops up her deck and leaves.

“I don’t know what her problem is. On top of having so much natural tboy swag, I didn’t even get to the part where I explain that this isn’t even Urza’s first queer relationship. He basically dated Xantcha, who was also a trann-”

He is unable to finish his sentence, as our blade has already pierced his esophagus.