NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani Cracks Down on Basic Landlords
New York City’s new mayor Zohran Mamdani promised to crack down on “basic landlords” in a press statement earlier today.
“For too long have the basic landlords in this city failed to meet the needs of their tenants,” Mamdani proclaimed. “When you put down a Forest, you will be asked the question: ‘Who is living in that Forest?’ ‘Are they in safe living conditions?’ ‘Are you charging them fair prices, or are you unfairly squeezing mana out of the many elves and dinosaurs that live there?'”
The change is, according to the tenants of many basic lands found within New York City, long overdue.
“It is a profound, joyous relief to hear that someone is finally taking action on our behalf,” says local elf Caerthynna Holarona, who has lived in the same basic Forest for the past 350 years. “There are two hundred of us who call this humble Forest home. We have needs for maintenance and upkeep that are not always met by the average Landfall player.”
When asked to clarify, Holarona did state that they were not referring to the upkeep step, but to the broader definition of maintaining a physical space.
“It’s not just Forests, either,” Mamdani continued in his address. “My office will be auditing every basic land type–from the goblins and dragons in our basic Mountains, to the merfolk and sphinxes out in our basic Islands, our knights and angels in basic Plains, and yes, even the zombies and vampires in our basic Swamps. Everyone deserves a safe place to live at a fair and reasonable price!”
The gathered crowd cheered quite loudly at Mamdani’s proclamation, and we were fortunate enough to get the chance to interview him privately afterwards.
“The hope is that change like this will really inspire other cities moving forward, like Chicago and Ravnica,” Mamdani told us. “That, and to expand rent control and the enforcement of maintenance violations not just to lands with basic land types–I’m talking about Steam Vents, I’m talking about Raffine’s Tower–but even to completely nonbasic lands as well.”
We asked him who he thinks is the biggest culprit of these abuses–whether he believes this problem is centralized or widespread, and Mamdani had this to say:
“It’s definitely a systemic problem, but there are certainly some offenders that are worse than others,” Mamdani said. “I spoke to the residents of a copy of Evolving Wilds yesterday. Their landlord is a huge conglomerate, The Necrobloom. The tenants told me that they get sacrificed to search a basic land two or three times per turn.”
Surprised by those numbers, we asked him how such violations were even logistically feasible, and Mamdani said the following:
“It’s definitely two or three times per turn. Their landlord can do it because it’s partnered with Azusa, Lost But Seeking–we suspect they may also be using a Conduit of Worlds.”
Azusa is currently wanted in New York City for several dozen counts of real estate fraud. Mamdani and the city’s lawyers have attempted to bring her in for community service via Swords to Plowshares, but Azusa was reportedly wearing a Snakeskin Veil at the time, and managed to evade capture.
“We’ve considered asking the Ninja Turtles for help, as well as a few Spiderpeople,” Mamdani shared with us, candid. “But those of us at the mayor’s office just… really don’t vibe that much with Universes Beyond, y’know? Final Fantasy and Avatar were good, but as much as I love New York–and I love New York… maybe we should give another setting a chance.”
On his way out, we asked Mamdani one more question about his speech–he said that he plans to start by tracking down the landlords of basic lands, but he never mentioned Wastes. We asked if his office was also going to consider those landlords as “basic,” and pursue their violations under this program.
“Oh, absolutely,” Mamdani said, putting on his coat. “Just because Eldrazi don’t have corporeal or comprehensible forms, that doesn’t mean that they can violate their tenants’ rights. We’ll look after colorless New Yorkers, even if we have to planeswalk directly into the Blind Eternities just to hold those eldritch horrors accountable.”
He gave us a final, charismatic wink and stepped out.
The Commander’s Herald reached out to The Necrobloom, to Tatyova, Benthic Druid, and to Omnath, Locus of Creation, but none of them were available for comment.
