J. Jonah Jameson Upset At What He Considers “Lack” of Spider-Man Spoilers
MANHATTAN, New York – The editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson, released an opinion piece today complaining about the number of cards that have been previewed for the upcoming Magic: The Gathering Universes Beyond Spider-Man set.
White many in the online Magic community have complained about the spoiling of many Spider-Man cards during Edge of Eternities release season, Jameson thinks it’s still not enough.
“Folks, this is an outrage,” aggressively wrote Jameson in the editorial. “It’s bad enough that the masked menace swinging through our streets is going to be showcased and praised by some gaming company. How did that spider-twerp pull enough strings to make this happen? Whose palms did he have to web to get an entire set about him? Is there a card of me? These are the important questions, and that’s what I do, people; ask the big questions.”
Jameson, known for having legendary obsession with New York’s favorite super hero, went on to explain exactly why someone like him wants, and should get, early spoilers.
“Anyway, whether I want them or not, we’re going to get Spider-Man Magic cards, so I want to see all of them as soon as I can, not piecemeal like some Joe Everybody on the street! I want at least two spoilers for Spider-Man on my desk every morning. Hell, I should be getting a card to spoil myself! Not only have I given that guy plenty of free press, I also stopped Green Goblin from harassing the kid that takes all my Spider-Man pics, and I heard those guys were great friends, so…wait a second…Betty, when you read this, have Parker call me, I want to ask him something.”
As of press time, Jameson was promised by Wizards a future card spoiler, but for a card from the upcoming Howard The Duck Modern-legal set.
