Edge of Eternities Set To Rotate Out of Standard
In an effort to keep fans focused on their upcoming Universes Beyond sets, Wizards of the Coast has made the decision to rotate Edge of Eternities out of Standard. This will give fans of the sci-fi set approximately zero days to enjoy its cast of unique characters and the new “spaceship” artifact type. Fortunately for Magic fans, spoilers for the upcoming Spider-Man and Avatar: The Last Airbender sets are well underway.
Wizards of the Coast On Rotating Edge of Eternities Out
The company announced the decision earlier this week at San Diego Comic Con, stating, “After careful consideration, we’ve decided that Edge of Eternities will rotate out of the Standard format on August 1st. This will coincide with the August 1st release of Edge of Eternities. We feel this will give fans more time and energy to focus on future products, rather than wasting their time playing with the cards they’ve already purchased. Anyways, here’s a card based on Mary Jane Watson’s older sister, Gayle!”
An anonymous source who works for Wizards of the Coast told us, “The decision came when we realized that Final Fantasy was making us infinite money. We have high hopes that Spider-Man will make us double that. We can’t have Edge of Eternities cannibalizing those profits.”
A New Marketing Philosophy
“We’ve realized that we need to stop thinking of our customers as players and think of them as card buyers,” our source inside the company told us, explaining their new approach. “We want our cards to be out of date and irrelevant as soon as they’re opened. That way the customer is already prepared to buy the next set, which will also be out of date and irrelevant when they open it.”
“This has always been our goal with Magic, but Universes Beyond let us really kick things up a notch. If we’re giving people an endless stream of recognizable characters, they’re too distracted to notice that they don’t actually have time to enjoy the cards based on those characters.” Our source then laughed and twirled his mustache before taking his private helicopter back to Hasbro Headquarters.
Fans React To the Announcement
Reactions from fans were divided over the decision to rotate Edge of Eternities out of Standard on its release day. Long time player Max Karlsen said, “Universes Beyond has destroyed the game I’ve been playing for over 30 years. But at least I get to be smug and self righteous about not liking the new sets and harass new players. So I guess I’m conflicted about the whole thing.”
“Spider-Man is cool!” Universes Beyond fan, and soon to be third grader, Cassidy Zemerman told us. “I’m going to get all the spidey cards and I’m not going to let my little brother touch them because one time he put one of my toys in the toaster and caught it on fire. I don’t want dumb cards without Spider-Man on them.”
Commander player Mika Amir replied, “What the hell is Standard?”
The New Normal For Magic
With the vast success of Magic: the Gathering in recent years it’s unlikely that Wizards of the Coast will be dialing back its breakneck release schedule anytime soon. However, parent company Hasbro has recently acquired several organ harvesting companies. Some fans are hopeful Hasbro will offer special deals for Magic fans looking to trade their kidneys in directly for collector boxes.
