The Praetor Good: A Face Only MOM Could Love - Decked Out EDH Gameplay Breakdown

The Phyrexian Praetors inspire many questions. Where did they come from? How do they see? How many miles before they have to get an oil change? And most importantly, which one would win in a free-for-all battle?

The latest Decked Out episode is here to answer all your questions ("a little office in Renton," "very poorly," and "depends if it's glistening synthetic or regular"). VeggieWagon and MTGNerdGirl are joined by WotC Senior Game Designer Melissa Detora and cosplayer PeachyPop to determine the answer to that final question. Spoilers: it's not Jin-Gitaxias.

Elesh Norn (PeachyPop)

PeachyPop is representing Machine Mommy, both in-game and out-of-game (check out her cosplays!). Her plan: shut it down! An early Mother of Machines on the board turns off most opponents' threats, and the follow-up Grand Cenobite cleans up the rest. Strong enter-the-battlefield effects, like Karmic Guide and Loran of the Third Path, give Peachy a big advantage in extra resources and interaction. But can she hold on long enough to establish dominance?

Vorinclex (Melissa DeTora)

Melissa Detora is flexin' with The 'Clex. With double the +1/+1 counters, her creatures are going to beef up fast. Melissa doesn't even have to choose between going wide or going tall; her deck has options for either gameplan, like Loyal Guardian or Soul Swallower. The mono-green machine has the potential to snowball very quickly, but will the straightforward approach and scarce removal be enough to contend?

Urabrask (VeggieWagon)

The oddball Praetor is the perfect match for Veggie, who wants to control the pace of the game, and that pace is FAST. His build is focused on combat triggers and big swings since his opponents can't effectively drop blockers. Additional combat phases from Karlach, Fury of Avernus or Scourge of the Throne mean even more attacks that won't be blocked. The strategy relies on keeping the table on the back foot while pushing through damage, but can Veggie finish them off once they stabilize?

Sheoldred

Survive and outlast, that's what's in NerdGirl's head as she pilots her Sheoldred deck. Shelly's abilities punish the opponents for playing the game, so as long as she's alive, she's winning. NerdGirl may have the least explosive Praetor (we just won't mention the Peer into the Abyss instant-kill), but she makes death an inevitability. The deck is also stuffed with removal and card draw, so she should be able to find answers for any situation. Can NerdGirl live through her opponents' high-impact plays to drain them out?

How It Went Down

Cats and Dogs and Hogs - The Early Game

Melissa gets the damage flowing with a Werewolf Pack Leader. Veggie follows up with Ilharg, the Raze-Boar, raising some eyebrows in the process. Peachy and NerdGirl try to protect themselves with Brimaz, King of Oreskos and Sheoldred, the Apocalypse, respectively, but Veggie starts swinging anyway. Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines makes her appearance just in time to prevent a potential win from Veggie via Terror of the Peaks.

The Parents Are Out - The Mid Game

The on-board combination of Sheoldred, the Apocalypse and Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines proves to be an obstacle that Melissa and Veggie can't work around. The game looks to be at a stalemate until Veggie drops Wild Magic Surge and a damage-doubled Abrade to take them out back-to-back. This opens a short window for Melissa to establish a threatening Champion of Lambholt and Defiler of Vigor before the white and black Praetors return to the battlefield. Life totals continue to drain away, and a Bolt Bend on Peachy's Oblivion Ring sets up another opportunity for the more aggressive Phyrexians.

Big Plays and Betrayals - The End Game

Veggie appeals to the RNG gods, and they answer with a perfect top deck. Thanks to Magus of the Wheel, Veggie refills his hand and trashes the threats waiting in NerdGirl and Peachy's hands. He manages to steal Elesh Norn for a turn, adding Terror of the Peaks and Solphim, Mayhem Dominus for what looks like a game-ending damage engine. Melissa comes through for the table by hitting the Terror with Ram Through before any big creatures can drop, and Veggie's big turn fizzles out. NerdGirl goes for a win of her own with an 11-mana Profane Command, which takes out Melissa and drops Peachy and Veggie to single-digit life totals. With the victory all but locked up, NerdGirl watches it all fall away as Peachy slams her Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite to clear the way for lethal attacks on the remaining players.

By The Numbers

Praetors cast: 5

Targets swerved: 2

Maths done: 0

Mommy issues: 3

Watch the episode here so Veggie can play blue next time.