The Magic Player's Perception vs Reality Problem

Art by Howard Lyon © Wizards of the Coast

Perception is not reality.

Except when it is.

We all have our favorite soapboxes, topics where we go off like kings and queens. My favorite soapbox is that mill as a strategy, particularly in Commander, is bad. Objectively, measurably, undeniably weaker than almost all other strategies you could employ. I could talk endlessly about how the graveyard is a resource, and freely filling that resource for your opponents is actively helpful to them up until the point they are dead, and how players who don't like being milled might as well complain about having to shuffle their decks every time they crack an Evolving Wilds.

But every time I get up on this soapbox, I run out of breath to the applause from players who already agree with me, and to dismissal from players who already do not. Why?

Is it because players who don't like mill are collectively and specifically stubborn? Is it because a player who hates being milled is just objectively worse at this game than I am? Surely I can assume that if my clear explanation did not change their mind, they must just be less intelligent than me, right?

Sorry, but no.

The reality is in their perception. Despite all of the arguments I've made, there is something about being milled that many players simply just don't like. It doesn't matter that mathematically being milled is akin to having their deck shuffled. Many players don't enjoy seeing their cards being flipped into their graveyard. It doesn't matter that they're getting free information and fuel for their Eternal Witness or Treasure Cruise when the road to get there didn't feel fun.

Milling It Over

Let's put this one example in context. I roll up to my local game store's Commander night. I'm just looking for some happy-go-lucky casual games, and I don't care if I win or lose, so I'll play something I think is inherently weak. I know! I'll bring my Phenax, God of Deception mill deck! It's objectively bad because mill is objectively bad!

And lo, over the course of the night, pod after pod, not only do my opponents not seem to be having the lighthearted, fun-focused experience I intended for them, they also have the audacity to target me down every game. Why would these players act this way? Don't they know I'm piloting the weakest deck at the table?

It's because Commander is a social format, not ruled by objectivity, but ruled by subjectivity. Majority vote is the law. If my three opponents do not like what I am doing, it does not matter what my measurable win-percentage is; they can choose to focus me out of a game just because they think they'd have more fun once I'm dead, or because they think that what I'm doing is strong regardless if it is or not.

In this case, they're not wrong because they didn't understand how their perception was mismatched from reality. I was wrong because I didn't understand how their perception was in fact the most important reality.

Want to win more? Perhaps the most undervalued skill in any given game is empathy.

This is a powerful truth to carry into a Commander game, but it applies across other Magic: The Gathering formats, and other games, and beyond the table into countless arenas of life.

The [Em]Path to Victory

Let's carry this concept across this spectrum of arenas.

Regardless of how you define "casual" Commander, the best tool at your disposal is not usually the 100-card deck you sit down to play with. Your most effective tool is your understanding of the three human beings sitting down to play with you. Is one player prone to getting salty? Does one player have a disproportionate hatred of Rat decks? Did anyone have a terrible day before they arrived? Does Player 1 have a mega crush on Player 2? Does Player 3 have a reputation for merciless pursuit of victory?

All of these variables will affect how these players play this game. What differentiates a Commander pod from a game like chess is that despite there being an optimal line at any given decision point in the game, any personal variable in the human life of your opponent changes the math on your game actions. You tapped down your blockers because clearly Player 2 needs to be attacked, but Player 3 attacks you now instead because you're on Nekusar, the Mindrazer and he's tired of losing 1 life every time he draws. It doesn't matter that Nekusar is five mana and he's not drawing any extra cards and your deck is a mile weaker than Player 2's deck. He doesn't like the Commander, and he doesn't like that you keep making his life total go down, and this is information you can employ when making game decisions if Player 3 is someone you know, or if they voiced their unreasonable hatred for Nekusar when the game began.

Knowing and listening to your opponents, respecting their humanity as a significant piece of this social game, is only going to help you win more, and more importantly, all four players at the table are going to have a better time for it.

The "C" Stands For "Community" (It Doesn't)

While it's not so glaring, the same ability to read and work with other humans will reap benefits in cEDH, in competitive 1v1 formats, and beyond into numerous other means of competition.

Ask any avid cEDH player, and they'll tell you that, despite the format's focus on optimization, politics is a real factor at cEDH tournament tables. Players absolutely will try to influence the actions of others through their words and their demeanor, not unlike a game of poker. "You should counter her spell," Player 2 says. Suddenly, whether you like it or not, you now have to make a social read. Are they a player who would say that to get you off their own back? Is it actually true, and they lack the tools to deal with the problem on their own? Are they a player who just likes to cause chaos to break down the concentration of their opponents? Pure objectivity does not exist in this moment, even for Player 2, because now your perception of this game state is what will decide its reality, and you will always make this decision better if you're prepared to extend empathy.

While politics are not present in 1v1 games, reading your opponents is an undeniably significant piece of the puzzle you have to solve. Does the burn player think they need to be aggressive, or are they on the back foot and likely to point their Lightning Boltat a creature? Does my opponent seem disengaged and more likely to miss a more intricate bit of interaction? Are they perhaps overconfident, or disproportionately nervous? Deducing these factors about the person across the table is, in fact, practicing empathy.

Empathy is not merely cutting someone some slack when they think differently than you. Empathy is an effort to understand another human, to grasp the context of their day, the story of their life, and collect those pieces in such a way that you can comprehend their choices at least a little better.

Beyond the Cardboard

Today's local, national, and international political climates feel bafflingly divided to many of us. I find myself asking very familiar questions as I read up on current events:

How could someone be so dimwitted, so hard-hearted to hold that political view? Who in their right mind would make a decision like that?

Just like the mill-hating Commander player we began with, assuming they have applied no logical reason only hurts our chances at ever making meaningful impact on reality. Here in the U.S., mill-haters get to vote just like mega-brain-mill-comprehenders like myself. I can yell and soapbox and call them names all I want, but at the end of the day, I'm going to have to employ some other strategies if I actually want to change the math of the situation in front of me, and my charge is that the Commander game is just a microcosm of every us-vs-them game we play in our lives where leaving empathy off the table is only ever going to lower our impact and drop our win-percentage.

So let this be another way this game of Magic influences our lives for the better, fellow cardboard-slingers. Choose your deck, your cards, your actions, your words knowing that the context of the human life across from you matters just as much as (sometimes more than) the objective measurables.

If we can practice empathy, we will make a bigger impact in our games and in our communities. If we can tap into the perception of those humans we call "opponents", that's where we ultimately change reality.