OH FUCKING GODDAMNIT I DROPPED MY FUCKING DICE ALL OVER THE FUCKING GROUND

Magic the gathering, like many “nerdy” hobbies can attract individuals who are more reserved in social situations, so it is incredible that so many MTG fans find themselves walking into game stores and sitting down to play with complete strangers. The key is to relax, be welcoming, and to – OH FUCKING GODDAMNIT I DROPPED MY FUCKING DICE ALL OVER THE FUCKING GROUND.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY WENT FUCKING EVERYWHERE. THE NOISE WAS SO FUCKING LOUD. OH MY GOD, EVERYONE IS FUCKING STARING AT ME NOW. FUCK. THE STUPID FLOOR IS FUCKING FILTHY AND CRAWLING AROUND HURTS MY FUCKING KNEES. I’M SWEATING LIKE A GODDAMN PIG. I SHOULDN’T HAVE WORN MY STUPID LEATHER DUSTER. FUCK. OH NO, FUCK, I ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED A WOMAN’S LEG. THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. AHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH. THIS IS SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING. THE WORLD IS A STAGE UPON WHICH WE ARE FORCED TO ACT OUT BOTH A HEART-BREAKING TRAGEDY AND AN ABSURDIST COMEDY, THE TRAGEDY IS MY ENTIRE LIFE, BUT THE ONLY JOKE IS ME. wait…is this spindown even mine? i didn’t go to that prerelease. the color is actually pretty cool. OH FUCKING SHIT I HIT MY GODDAMN FUCKING HEAD ON THE UNDERSIDE OF THE STUPID FUCKING TABLE. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.