Dozens Injured As Ms Bumbleflower’s Easter Egg Hunt Takes Brutal Turn
Chaos erupted at the first annual Bumbleflower Easter Egg Hunt when word got out that there were not enough prizes for everyone who entered. Attendees were initially lured in with promises of drawing cards, but interest in the humble innkeeper’s wares far exceeded the mana she had on hand to cast spells.
When it became clear there wouldn’t be enough to go around, all hell broke loose. Guests trampled over each other to find the most eggs and prove they deserved the coveted prize of card draw. Children crying with multiple injuries littered the scene as full grown adults tussled over the motley colored eggs.
Officers arrive to find multiple fights, two fires, children who had been thrown from second story windows, and an uncountable amount of chocolate wasted in the wake of the calamity. As locals sift through the ashes of the brawl, some residents have begun to ask questions of blame. Others have pointed fingers at the ready.
Jud A. Ess, a local pessimist, was witnessed the cacophony first hand, “Its all the insidious rabbit’s fault. I know it isn’t PC, but this is why bunnies shouldn’t be in charge of organizing. They don’t know how to enforce the rules. Its all carrot and no stick with them.”
Local regular and dog enthusiast Kim E Changa tells reporters, “No no no, it’s not her fault. It’s the human condition. The hubris of man to think he can control that base animal urge. No one can see that rabbit and be normal. The promise of card draw for free is not the only allure here. She’s also picking you, understand? That does something to a girl that makes her forget herself. That can make a normal girl do horrible things. Tell a lie, cheat on her wife, push an old man down the stairs, punt someone’s child out a window, nothing is too much for that sweet sweet card draw.”
Don’t believe her lies.
Investigating officers have cautioned the public to stay calm as details emerge. They have offered little in the ways of details. However, sources within the department have pointed towards Mr Foxglove being a key suspect in the investigation.
Foxglove could not be reached for comment at this time, but an unknown source has bought out all copies of Ms Bumbleflower on Manapool.com.
Hahaha jk – unless…
