Am I The Bolas? - Vibes are Off

Mike Carrozza • January 8, 2025

Opinion
Feeling of Dread Illustrated by John Stanko

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com! You might see your story in the column. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast? 

THIS PODCAST!

I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, the guy who's done with the snow already

EVERY YEAR WITH THIS STUFF!

This week, this dynamic feels off! But first...

I'm coming to Chicago! I've been selected to be a featured creator at MagicCon Chicago!

If you get your badges for the Con here, you'd be helping me out!

That means that next month I will be at MagicCon Chicago hanging out and playing games. I'm there to meet anybody and everybody who wants to meet me and sling some cardboard. I don't know what decks I'll be bringing, but if there are any you'd like me to bring, I'm open to suggestions! I'll also be in Chicago early so I can perform stand-up comedy at various spots around town. Chicago is an incredible comedy city. It's my favorite place to perform. Come out to a show, come hang at the Con; I can't wait to meet all of you.

Anyway, let's get back to what you're really here for.

HEY, MIKE

(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

I actually just came across your column and read some articles and really enjoyed your work.

This is something that's been bothering me with my current pod that I'm on break from. This is multilayered, so I will try to be detailed. I just want to know, am I tripping or should I find another pod? 

I've been a Magic player since 1997 and love the game. I recently found Spelltable, which is great because it allows me to play paper again after becoming disabled. 
 
A friend invited me to play with his group of friends, and from the first game I noticed things I was uncomfortable with. 
 
First, I noticed they have a three-on-one approach by deeming one person as "the problem" before the game even starts. I didn't say anything, just thought it was weird. I play to have fun. Winning is nice, but I like the creativity of deckbuilding and to see fun decks in action.
 
Eventually, I got frustrated because they were ganging up on the one player, so I made a play against another player. Based on my board, my hand, and their board, they were the easy target. The player in question yelled and called me a "huge f'n idiot" because I didn't eliminate the "problem" instead. However, I was studying that player's deck, and he didn't have a path to win, so I don't see him as an immediate threat at the moment. My friend ended up winning because he basically convinced the other dude to gang up on the problem while he built up his board. Classic misdirection. I didn't immediately check the guy that insulted me because I was new and I thought maybe they talk to each other that way. 
 
A couple other nights, there were no yelling and insults, but the same ganging up and the player that insulted me always complaining about always losing. That night, I won a match against him - off a top-deck style win, to be honest - he yells "eff you" to me and disconnects from the Discord. They all say he always does that, but I took a break from playing with them cause I wasn't enjoying myself anymore. 
 
Was I maybe overreacting, or am I the Bolas for wanting to have their usual pod play in a way that goes against their norm?
 
 

HIYA, FINNEAS!

Thank you for writing in and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here.

It's nice to have a bit of a lob to start out the year. This feels like a pretty easy case to decide. Also, how about that John Stank art in the header? Incredibly talented artist. 

You decide what's worth your time and energy. If you're not a fan of their style of play and this one guy rubs you the wrong way, take time off from them for sure! If you don't feel like playing with them again, don't! That's the beauty of it. I have a short list of folks I don't like playing with at my LGS; perfectly fine people, just the wrong playstyle and power level. If you're not enjoying yourself, why keep doing this? 

Magic's got a ton of people out there waiting for someone to join their pod. Plenty of communities online exist, and there's a bunch of great Discord servers teeming with folks who need a 4th to pop in. I'm certain you can find somewhere where the vibes are just right. I sometimes get games in with the folks in the EDHRECast Discord Server (a Patreon perk that's well worth it), and it's delightful. By joining these communities, you also gain access to a bunch of people who are invested enough in the game to want to have conversations about getting the right kind of game together. 

However, if this were a situation where you felt like this was it and you wanted to mend or remedy things, it comes down to a conversation. As with most of the advice here at Am I The Bolas?, it's about having an honest chat. I understand that the dynamics are that you are the new guy, but at the table, we're equals.

Start a conversation. Express that this playstyle isn't really what does it for you and that this is why you've taken a leave from the group for a while. Let them know that a game where threat assessment is determined before the game essentially by some makeshift vote is not a game you enjoy. 

Not the Bolas by any stretch. If you're not having a great time playing, trust and believe you can find the right folks to play with that'll make time zip quickly by. 

Happy new year!

Mike Carrozza

Mike Carrozza

Mike Carrozza is a stand-up comedian from Montreal who’s done a lot of cool things like put out an album called Cherubic and worked with Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane, and more people to brag about. He’s also been an avid EDH player who loves making silly stuff happen. @mikecarrozza on platforms