Am I The Bolas? - Upsetting the Threat

Mike Carrozza • February 12, 2025

Kresh the Bloodbraided
Illustrated by Raymond Swanland

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com with your story, a pseudonym you want to use, and of course, only include details you don't mind in the column! You might see your story in the column. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast? 

THIS PODCAST!

I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, and my ride's here!

I already made a fart joke with Earthrumbler

though...

This week, assessing a threat can upset the threat...


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Anyway, let's get back to what you're really here for.


HEY, MIKE

(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

I've been a longtime reader and have a situation after my second session of getting back into playing Commander after a few years out.

I took myself along to the local game store with the deck that I had kept from a few years ago. I run a homebrew Kresh the Bloodbraided

. The deck makes him as big as possible and throws him around. It's typical of my playstyle of slapping people with big beaters.

I sit down and join a pod of three other players. I introduce myself and shuffle up. First game goes brilliant for me. Kresh gets really big; I removed their flying creatures and stomped him over. The guys compliment the deck, say how they weren't expecting that and the usual stuff. Conversation is going well.

We shuffle for a second round and I end up mana screwed. I play it through; it's frustrating, but I remain friendly, still chatting and laughing with the pod. A really nice Dimir mill deck takes the win. Again, we compliment the deck and how it plays, making a few suggestions for cards that would fit.

The third game is where I may have been the Bolas. We shuffle up, and the player to my right says he's running a deck for the first time. The entire deck was proxied, which everyone was okay with. I can't remember if it was an initial draft of something he was building or a precon he was looking at buying but wanted to try. It was a Mardu Vampire deck, headed by Edgar Markov

. He gets off to a shaky start, but manages to get an early Edgar out.

The next turn, he swings at me with it, forgetting about a Royal Assassin

I have on the board. The thing with my deck is it can struggle against fliers, and knowing how Vampire decks can be, I know this will be a problem. The next turn, I swing at him with my Kresh, which is a 10/10 by now. The turn after, I swing with a slightly bigger Kresh and take him out. He still hasn't managed to play much, and with time constraints, this is going to be the last game.

Taking the loss, the guy gets angry, proclaiming how it isn't fair and he didn't really get to play, etc. etc. He then tells the rest of the pod he will wait for them outside. The match ends with me ultimately taking a loss, having to sacrifice Kresh in the late game to a Sheoldred

.

So here's my question. Should I have held back, knowing I'd be at a disadvantage if he did start playing and I had to take on an army of flyers with a deck poorly equipped to do so? Am I the Bolas for taking him out? It's worth noting I did take out the other players' flying creatures, knowing they were a threat. Being my first time playing with this group, maybe I have overstepped a boundary, or played outside of the group's playstyle. Had the person who took the loss stayed around, I would have made a few suggestions and offered advice like we had done in the previous two games.

Thanks,
 
Kreshtfallen
 
 

HOWDY, KRESHTFALLEN!

Thank you for writing in and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here.

I guess I can keep this one pretty short. But you know me, I love to talk!

You all had a great night playing three games where your opponents saw your deck perform and therefore pretty well knew what to expect. You've made a point of mentioning your deck is weak to flying creatures and have also been removing fliers the whole time! 

While Vampires aren't necessarily the creature type most known for flying, they definitely put up some numbers in that department. Also, an Edgar Markov

deck should be churning out blockers for days, especially against a commander without trample, although I do assume you've got ways to staple the keyword to Kresh in the deck. 

I think you made a decision. You decided that Edgar deck was the biggest threat, and it's fair to assess a threat for what it is. Edgar is one of the most powerful commanders in the game and routinely elicits groans when a player reveals him in the command zone. 

I think the only thing to consider is that maybe vocalizing it or playing into the politics might have made for a different outcome. If you had spoken up about your concerns, there may have been something Edgar's pilot could say that would quell your fear of them being a big threat to you, but in the end, it's totally fair for you to have determined they're your biggest threat at the moment. 

For what it's worth, I'm only getting a snapshot of the evening; you've shortcut the conversations, and I don't know if this discussion was had or not, it's just what comes to mind. People like to message me saying "you don't know the full story" and it's like... yeah buddy welcome to the column. I get what people send my way, and then sometimes I send follow-up questions. Otherwise, if it's possible to find something to discuss in the story, we go for it. 

In this case, it's fair to play your deck well, knowing where the threat is and neutralizing it before they put you in a position you don't like. It's a game of conflict, and it's essentially war. If what you want is to win, you're doing your best to win, way to go. If your goal is to sit around and have a nice time, it seems like you all accomplished that despite the last game not going how you expected. 

I have to say, I can definitely empathize with the Edgar player since they were testing the deck out and didn't get the results they wanted. I know that feeling plenty. I get to my LGS with a new deck and a combo deck takes the win on turn three after I've explained I'm running a new deck that needs to hit turn eight to get interesting; I mean that's pretty frustrating. But you all got to play three games and the new deck still did threatening things (an early Edgar???), it's not much to be mad at. Go outside and cool off, sure. But it's still a good night. 

Have a chat with the gang and see if next time can go a little smoother. 

Not the Bolas. 



Mike Carrozza is a stand-up comedian from Montreal who’s done a lot of cool things like put out an album called Cherubic and worked with Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane, and more people to brag about. He’s also been an avid EDH player who loves making silly stuff happen. @mikecarrozza on platforms