Am I The Bolas? - Underselling Your Deck
Toxrill, the Corrosive Illustrated by Simon Dominic
Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?
This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"
I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com! You might see your story in the column. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast?
I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, and I'm taking notes!
Slow down, slow down, I can only etch so quickly!
This week, a precon gets an upgrade.
(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and a dash of brarity.)
HEY, MIKE!
Hi Mike! Short time fan and short time listener all the way from Australia.
I found you on Dan Sheehan's Pie Break episode talking about chips and I instantly subscribed to your podcast because your humour is exactly my humour and I love it. I binged all available eps at the time and now I'm champing at the bit for more.
A D&D friend of mine got into Magic about a year ago, and I was pumped to have more friends play the game. He had a small (six people) playgroup at an LGS close by, so I've been getting in some games there instead of my usual four-person playgroup in a house.
I recognise that I have been "that guy" at the table sometimes where I drop some powerful cards without warning and warp the table because of it, but I've learnt to help tailor the experience, read the room, and do some fun stuff at the same time.
My Bolas story isn't mine but one I witnessed in the pod and is as such:
I was waiting for a pod to finish up and the aforementioned friend to rock up for the next game. A "new guy" turns up - we have seen him at the LGS before - and starts talking to me as I'm alone and waiting.
He tells me his story of starting in Alpha/Beta, stopping, getting back in around Midnight Hunt, stopping again, and has now come back because of Bloomburrow. He shows me a list of a Tymna the Weaver/Thrasios, Triton Hero deck he wants to build, complete with all the cEDH trimmings, saying that the bulk of the price he has to pay is minimized by having all the OG duals etc. Whatever, I get it, you've got the things, that's cool.
He says he has "this deck, which is just a Wilhelt, the Rotcleaver precon with a few upgrades to it. It's very slow"
It was not just a few upgrades.
We were watching the end of the other game. Someone was playing Squirrels. He makes a remark that "this would stop that" and shows me a Toxrill, the Corrosive sleeved up and in the deck. I laugh a little and keep this in mind.
That game ends and our game starts. Two others sit down and he tells them "slow precon with some upgrades." Everyone grabs decks and we start. Bolas on Wilhelt, then Henzie "Toolbox" Torre next to him, me on Aragorn, the Uniter and last is Grist, the Hunger Tide.
By turn three, he Dark Rituals an Exquisite Blood out. The next turn he Vampiric Tutors for a card. I wonder what it could be.
His deck was slow in the sense it was a Dimir deck with minimal ramp. He finally lands the Sanguine Bond and everyone looks at each other. Pass to Henzie and his Mana Crypt (he had just opened one and was excited to have a powerful card so he put it in; this was pre-ban, of course) and he loses the coin flip. In response, I Boseiju, Who Endures the Exquisite Blood and play continues. Grist wins in the end with his -5 ability, hitting each opponent for 20.
Wilhelt player had several tutors in the deck and some other big things in the deck but sold it to the pod as an upgraded precon. Who is the Bolas in this situation? Him for that, or me for not revealing what information I had gleaned before the match? Would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Much love from Australia and sending positive vibes to you and the whole team.
Thanks,
CamBo
HOWDY, CAMBO!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for such kind words! That rules so much! I'm thrilled to hear you're so into the podcast and the column. Also, shoutout to Pie Break, it's one of my fave Magic podcasts and I recommend it to everybody!
Remember, I say it every week: without folks submitting stories to amithebolas@gmail.com, there is no column! If you have a story, send it over and I'll get into it over here!
Time to dive in.
Cambo, my friend, you know the answer to this one I reckon, but let's just say there are a few things that are jumping out at me beyond just the question at hand.
First of all, you're not the Bolas for knowing about an oppressive card in an opponent's deck. He leaned in and told you about it before the game even started. "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, that Squirrel deck doesn't stand a chance against this Slug people groan about."
There's nothing wrong with Toxrill in a general sense. It's a brutal card, and when decks are optimized for it, good luck everybody else! Creature-based decks get completed wrecked by it, but it also gets hit with a Path to Exile or Swords to Plowshares. But "run more removal" is the type of phrase I roll my eyes at considering all the variance in the game.
Secondly, if somebody says they upgraded a precon, we expect it to be a lightly raised power level. I say we, but you get it. Precons are usually mid power level. They've gotten better over the years, and the deck's pilot makes a huge difference, no doubt, but precons in general are about a C+ to B-. If you're slamming a tutor with a two-card combo in your precon upgrade, sorry buddy, you're being an ass! Bolas behavior, easily. Come on, now.
Third, you're playing at a table where the interaction pieces are, like, Boseiju, Who Endures and ramp is Mana Crypt, a now-banned card! It's higher-powered for sure, and you needed to disrupt that combo immediately, but a high-powered table isn't really the place for an "upgraded precon".
So, a few things to chew on here.
Wilhelt player is a Bolas for the way he pitched his deck. Setting that expectation and then having the cards in the deck that you've mentioned is Spiky at least, but it's deceptive and it's Bolas, Bolas, Bolas.
However! Having someone sit at the table when they say "it's an upgraded precon" and then folks at the table picking up their decks with Crypts and Boseiju tier cards is also an interesting decision. Does Bolas have myriad? He's all over the table! But you knew to expect something messed up, so I guess that's why you pulled out your deck with great cards.
All that to say, I wonder how this bracket system is going to work? All these cards feel like they're on the same level! So the game must have been fine! But Wilhelt shouldn't be describing his deck as such.
Alrighty, I hope you liked this one, everybody reading! I never really know how to end these! I said Wilhelt is the Bolas for sure, but that the table's decision to play those decks is mini-Bolas. You get it by now!
While I still have you, I'd love it if you listened to Am I the Bolcast? wherever you get your podcasts and you rated it five stars. If you want rate it anything less, how about don't do that but instead you can email me at amithebolas@gmail.com and tell me what you don't like and then you could go give it five stars because I'm a good listener!
Thanks for reading, everybody!