Am I The Bolas? - A Sliver of Time

Mike Carrozza • December 11, 2024

Opinion
Sliver Overlord Illustrated by Tony Szczudlo

Hello, and welcome to Am I the Bolas?

This column is for all of you out there who have ever played some Magic and wondered if you were the bad guy. I'm here to take in your story with all of its nuances so I can bring some clarity to all those asking, "Am I the Bolas?"

I'm ready to hear you out and offer advice. All you have to do is email amithebolas@gmail.com! You might see your story in the column. You might even hear it on the podcast. Which podcast? 

THIS PODCAST!

I'm Mike Carrozza, aka Mark Carbonza, the guy who didn't know his fart's nickname got a card.

I'm sorry for the fart joke, but I'm also not sorry.

This week, a chat about making a deck based around one of the most hated-on creature types out there. But before that...

I'm coming to Chicago! I've been selected to be a featured creator at MagicCon Chicago!

If you get your badges for the Con here, you'd be helping me out!

I'm awaiting news and such for a potentially cool giveaway so keep your eyes peeled and on the column. EYE EMOJI (The system won't let me use emojis)

So what does this mean? Excellent question! I'm not sure! I'm new to this, too! At a base level, it means that I will be at MagicCon Chicago hanging out and playing games. I'm there to meet anybody and everybody who wants to meet me and sling some cardboard. I don't know what decks I'll be bringing, but if there are any you'd like me to bring, I'm open to suggestions! Ultimately, there's a chance I have a meet and greet, there's a chance I get a table reserved to slam games, maybe I'll be doing some panel stuff!

No matter what, the best thing to do is keep up with me on socials. I'm @mikecarrozza and @amithebolas on Twitter, Instagram, and Bluesky. I'm easy to find and easy to reach out to! If there's a chance you'd be disappointed we don't cross paths, I don't want that! Let's hang out!

I'll also be in Chicago early and a little later than the Con so I can perform stand-up comedy at various spots around town. Chicago is an incredible comedy city. It's my favorite place to perform. If I had everything my way, I'd be living there and I'd shoot my next special there. It's amazing. Come out to a show, come hang at the Con: I can't wait to meet all of you.

But I don't want any guff for putting ketchup on my hot dogs. I'm still from Quebec after all, Chicago can't change me that much!

Anyway, let's get back to what you're really here for.

HEY, MIKE/MARK!

(Post edited for brevity, clarity, and then some.)

Hi Mike! Love the show! 

I have a scenario where I fear I may be a slight Bolas. You see, I just love Slivers. I've them built in just about every format, from Legacy to Modern to Pauper; I'm even working on them for Premodern. When I first learned about Commander over a decade ago, half of what got me interested was that I could finally build my childhood dream Sliver deck. I got a bunch of Slivers from a friend and loved the deck.
 
Eventually, when The First Sliver released, I found myself with a somewhat high-powered build focused on cascading and overruning with my favorite creatures. I realized that was too strong for the level most of my friends liked, but I didn't want to stop playing my favorite deck.
 
Then I remembered something I'd heard on an old episode of the Command Zone podcast, where they mentioned a friend's Mayael the Anima deck. That deck took a huge pile of the owner's favorite giant creatures and randomized them every game, slotting them into a shell of lands and other spells.
 
There was my solution! I could randomize my suite of Slivers, reducing the power level and giving me an excuse to play some of the weirdo Slivers! I could even randomize the commander itself from amongst the multiple legendary Slivers. I'd always wished I could just play every Sliver with a 200-card deck, and this was as close as I could get.
 
So I remade the deck. I collected one of every single Sliver card. I made a starting deck with a five-color manabase, ramp package, removal, card draw, all that. Now the deck can take any of the legendary Slivers at random to lead the deck, then throw the others back in the deck along with a random 30 cards from the All-The-Slivers Pile. The Mystery Booster playlets Slivers can optionally be included if people are cool with them.
 
Here's where I might be being a Bolas. This deck sparks a particular joy for me, but... it has issues. By randomizing the deck and the commander, the power level can be swingy. Sometimes I wind up with The First Sliver and all the crazy mainboard ones, while other times I get Sliver Gravemother and no good synergies, leading to a middling experience. 
 
There's also the prep time. Every game, I have to undo the deck and return it to the factory settings. Then I need to shuffle up the Slivers Pile (which is over 100 cards), count out 30, and shuffle them a second time into the deck. This isn't a horribly long process, but it isn't quick.
 
And finally, it's still a Sliver deck at the end of the day. Unless I've only pulled the bad vanilla Slivers, there's probably some nonsense that could happen. The deck can and has pulled off an infinite combo using only the randomized pile (Sliver Queen plus Basal Sliver goes infinite in several ways). I tend to try to downplay my deck somewhat because it is a silly randomized take on the strategy, but every once in a while I'll get those kinds of games and feel like I misled people. 
 
Am I reading too much into these potential negatives of my deck, or am I being a Bolas here?
 
- Tyler Berger aka Hamburger Time (@_HamburgerTime on Twitter)
 
P.S. I'm not a Magic personality, but I am a Yu-Gi-Oh personality (a little bit, lol) if you think that's interesting for the audience.
 
P.P.S Here is a decklist, although it hasn't been updated with the Commander Masters Sliver cards yet. Maybe by the time you read this I'll get around to that, but you still can use this to get the idea of the deck. https://www.moxfield.com/decks/_-QnID4eUE2z9rL4RehO8w

HOWDY, TYLER!

Thank you for writing in and asking me to weigh in on your story. As I mention every week, if folks don't write to me, there's no column, so if you, the reader, want to send me a story, whether it's your own or one from Reddit or a friend's, please send it to amithebolas@gmail.com and I'll get to it here or on the podcast.

This sounds like a really fun concept! It's identical to what I want to do with a Jodah, the Unifier deck with legendary creatures. The project seems like a real undertaking, especially with switching the commander, but it sounds like it's a real passion project. I'm glad you put it together and get to bust it out whenever it feels right. 

Your main concerns seem to be time and power. Both fair concerns. 

As far as time goes, if you're running the deck idea by the table and they're into it, eager for it even, then the time concern should be mild at best. Get it done as quick as you can, maybe even ask for a hand with finding your commander and shuffling in your Slivers. It's more that if you wanted to play the deck and folks aren't into it, I reckon don't play that deck, especially if there's this added time component. 

The other hurdle we've got to clear is the fact that Slivers are notorious for being powerful snowballs that rival a good Elf deck. A deck that slams creature after creature and each one buffs your board with new, important text? That's scary! Any player who has seen a Sliver deck knows what it's capable of. There's no way to really minimize that kind of presence. 

Does having a bunch of Slivers to shuffle in signal the same thing to others? Like "hey, doesn't matter what's actually in the deck, it's Slivers" could give the impression that you love Slivers so much you couldn't decide which to include. That's a really sweet sentiment. However, maybe a more nefarious read would be "it doesn't matter what Slivers are in here, I'm going to win". I think there's a nonzero amount of people who might think it's a little cocky to to do this, but those people can just say no thank you to the deck. 

What it comes down to is this: this is a love letter to your favorite creature type. It just happens to be an extremely powerful creature type. Should that keep you from playing the deck? I don't think so! I'd love it if someone showed up with this concept for Slivers. How refreshing, honestly! I feel way more intrigued by this than I am by someone rocking up and flipping their Sliver commander with a honed list of nothing but the hits. Would I object to a regular Sliver deck? Maybe! What's the mood?

But this fun twist on a Sliver deck? Do I not like adventure? Am I not interested in more variance? Would one such as I deny my penchant for whimsy? Dear lord! I love feeling people's love for their decks. They push forward a sense of pride and accomplishment that's noticeable in players and when I sit with an opponent who is beaming with excitement for this deck of theirs, I already feel like my day was worth it. 

You can't be the Bolas for loving your deck, that's for sure. As long as you aren't forcing this deck on anybody, this is a clear not the Bolas, though at some tables, the mere mention of Slivers could get you into some trouble.

Mike Carrozza

Mike Carrozza

Mike Carrozza is a stand-up comedian from Montreal who’s done a lot of cool things like put out an album called Cherubic and worked with Tig Notaro, Kyle Kinane, and more people to brag about. He’s also been an avid EDH player who loves making silly stuff happen. @mikecarrozza on platforms