LGS Rules Allow Eating of Opponents’ Cards If They Misgender You

JONESBORO — AK While many local game stores claim to be allies to their transgender customers, on a game-to-game level this can prove hard to enforce. It can often result in many trans Magic players feeling unsafe and being hesitant to correct their opponents. After talking to some of their transgender playerbase one local game store decided to do something about it. Jackson’s Cards & Games has implemented the policy that if an opponent repeatedly misgenders a person, they are in turn allowed to grab one of their cards and eat it. Any card within reach on the offender’s board is fair game, and the store will have everyone’s back. Jackson himself gleefully explained the policy, “Opponents just can’t seem to target their spells your way while referring to you correctly? That signed commander sure is looking yummy! Eat it!”

We here at Commanders Herald have reached out to several players in Jackson’s store for comment. One anonymous source reported, “I’ve had to use proxy copies of a few cards until I could afford new ones, but in that time I learned using people’s preferred pronouns really isn’t that hard if you try a little. I sure do miss my Edgar Markov though.”

Carl Spencer has a different perspective, “Since the new policy rolled out, it’s been really nice to see more trans players coming out to FNM, though the local meta has gotten a lot more competitive. I 0-2 dropped this week. Again.”

Lilian Hesnon who actually ate a few cards infodumped her thoughts on the new rule at us, “I’ve never felt more welcome at my LGS, and I’ve developed quite a taste for confetti foils too! I love my Ygra deck, and this really lets me lean into the theme. I really hate the triple-sleevers though, their cards take forever to tear into, but it really does lock the freshness in!”

Jax Marlo voiced some concern with older cards after eating a beat up original copy of Howling Mine that was most certainly played on a school lunch table in the 90’s, causing them a nasty tummy ache (and possibly missing a land drop). They claim “That will be the last time I reach for a premodern card, but overall it was worth it for the experience.”

The culture at Jackson’s seems to be absolutely thriving after putting the new rule in place, with many local game sores in the area considering adopting similar policies of their own.

Jackson’s Cards & Comics has politely asked us to inform the readers that they are not responsible for any health issues that may arise in association with consuming any of Wizards of the Coast’s products.