Judge Called To Magic Potluck Over 7-Layer Dip

SEATTLE, WA — Chaos and calamity struck a typically peaceful community potluck Wednesday evening when a food fight erupted amongst a group of local magic players confounded by the interaction of a 7-layer dip. What began as a simple question about how to eat the dip quickly escalated to insults, injury, and airborne foodstuffs. Yelton Entimente, who witnessed the fight begin, tells us “It really wasn’t a big deal. Torrey asked if you were supposed to scoop it out with the chips or take some out of the dish onto your plate. Then two magic players stepped in and started talking about how vegetarians could get around the 3rd layer because of pork in the refried beans, and just chaos.”

Artist’s rendering of what the fight could have looked like.

Losses from the fight include three crockpots, five trays of cookies, several hairdos, and, tragically, this group’s equivalent of that one really good pie your friend’s mom makes (you know the one). A local judge who was called to restore order, Sarah-Kimberly Eastwest, told Commander’s Herald their take on the scene, “Magic players always struggle with two things, basic social etiquette and layers. So this was a tinderbox for conflict. As an L7 judge, I knew I needed to step in and clean things up. I issued game losses to all offenders, and explained that the timing doesn’t actually matter so long as everything is kept refrigerated and at the appropriate, serve safe temperature. I just wish I could have saved the pie. That man was covered. I see his face at night, frosted and dripping.”

The community center is currently undergoing extensive cleaning, but reports of beans everywhere, and an ominous smell coming from the grout in the floor do not bode well. Many locals worry this could be the end of potluck night. Tim Fitzscottwick a local event organizer explains, “Once that sour cream gets into the grout its all over. You’re not even gonna get it out with a tooth brush, and when the summer comes around? Forget it. Its gonna stink to high heaven. Who wants to eat dinner in a place that stinks? Nobody. I’m despondent. When will magic players learn that layers don’t need to be complicated, and they can call a judge BEFORE hitting me in the face with pie? My favorite shirt was ruined.”

Powerful words from a delicious smelling man covered in frosting.