ReedPop Announces Real American MagicCon Following ICE Backlash
LYNCHBURG, VA — Following a string of controversies, walk-backs, and general fan animosity surrounding their parent company’s recent contracts with ICE, ReedPop announced earlier this week that they would be creating a separate event “catering to a more Patriotic crowd that don’t feel as welcome as they should at other events.” The aptly named “Real American MagicCon”, hosted at the Falwell Center in Lynchburg, VA, was recently announced, and currently revealed details leave little wonder who the convention is expected to cater to.
The main event of the convention will be Old School 93/94, a format that only utilizes the first 8 expansions in Magic’s history and patently allows cards that rely on manual dexterity. When we talked to a Real American MagicCon spokesman, a 40 year old Caucasian man who wished to be referred to only as “Officer”, about if this would exclude attendees based on finances or physical limitation, we were told that the event had no room for “poors or cripples” before childishly gesturing like a paralyzed man. It’s not clear how many players have registered at this time, but an uptick in sales for shitty biker vests and denim jackets has organizers hopeful.
Beyond the main event, organizers are also promising a selection of side events ranging from a “Win a tour of CECOT” Modern event to an Urza’s Block Sealed tournament for a chance to win a signed artist proof of Invoke Prejudice. Beyond the game, a series of stage presentations are also being planned, featuring Jelly Roll and Post Malone in concert, as well as RAMC Special Guest Jeremy “The Quartering” Hambly in his first appearance since being forcibly thrown out of the community in 2017. “It’s great to finally have a public platform again” Hambly said on his public Podcast platform, “I was sick of the community being overtaken by a bunch of attention whore cosplayers, now I’m taking our community back.” Hambly would go on to announce he would also be judging the cosplay contest at the event.
Shoppers can rejoice, as not only will the seediest card dealers in the country be vending the event, but so will many independent vendors as well. “Be first to get your own Confederate Battle Flag playmat or Trump 2028 Sleeves” writes one vendor in the event materials, as another booth has been designated a “Charlie Kirk Memorial Zone”, complete with a cardboard cutout of the late podcaster as well as pyrotechnics and complimentary tissues for mourners. For those worried this all can be too expensive, Western Union has offered their services as a co-sponsor, setting up a booth to allow attendees to have money wired directly to the event from their rich fathers in Florida.
Potential attendees have already vocalized their love for the event. “It’s great. An event for western men like me. I don’t have to put up with the bullshit” writes MAGAHatJoe on Truth Social, before articulating his meaning behind “the bullshit” in a colorful tirade that featured a series of slurs targeting women, the LGBTQ+ community, Blacks, Africans, Hispanics, East Asians, South Asians, Eastern Europeans, the indigenous peoples of the United States, Canada, and Australia, the Jewish, Muslims, and the residents of the state of Illinois. When asked if he was worried any hostility from minority communities about the event, Officer asked where we were born and demanded to see our papers.
As of writing, it isn’t clear exactly when the event would be taking place. “We were originally thinking the weekend of the 4th of July, but it turned out to be a scheduling issue with a number of our attendees” says another event organizer. Players should expect an announcement once the divorce is finalized and everyone can figure out what custody looks like.
