Litigious Shareholders Unmoved by Offer To Turn Favorite IPs into UB sets

PROVIDENCE, RI — Late in January, a group of Hasbro shareholders sued the company, alleging that Hasbro had been overprinting Magic: the Gathering sets to hide losses elsewhere in the company. Since the announcement, a number of new rumors regarding the upcoming slate of Universes Beyond sets have started making the rounds. Many are speculating in the community the sets were chosen with the lawsuit in mind, and the plaintiffs don’t seem entirely pleased.

“We’ve had seven standard-legal Universes Beyond sets and countless Secret Lair tie-ins, and the value of the product has diminished because of it” says plaintiff’s group spokesman Michael Ehrenpreis. “What these rumors amount to is Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast trying to buy back our favor by making new sets for our favorite properties. While some of our members might appreciate 250 new cards based around ‘American Psycho’, it only serves to dilute the secondary market.”

Several Universes Beyond crossovers were prematurely leaked as part of the latest batch of rumors. Inclusions such as “Universes Beyond: The Sopranos”, “Jumpstart Fight Club” and “Secret Lair: Steely Dan covers” caused many to scratch their heads, until internet sleuths figured out a thread: each property was a favorite of at least one of the shareholders. Public reaction to the rumors was mixed, largely down the lines of whether Yacht Rock was cool or not. 

“I know I like to talk about how much I love Leonardo DiCaprio as an actor,” shareholder Geoffrey Skaggs-Hammond tells Commander’s Herald. “That’s why I was shocked when I read there would be a Secret Lair series based around his works later this year.” Mr. Skaggs-Hammond says he was quietly excited for the potential set, but were worried some of the choices would only make the situation worse. “I get ‘Titanic’ and ‘Gatsby’, and ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ is universally beloved, but people didn’t pay $30 for ‘The Beach’ in 2000 and I doubt they’re going to do so now.”

Other shareholders are worried about the means used to find out their favorites. One shareholder, who asked not to be named, noted a trip he took to visit family since the lawsuit was filed. “I went to see my grandpa at his cabin in New Hampshire. He was listening to old time radio while we were there. I checked my phone an hour after we left, and I see grainy cell phone pictures of a Mysterious Limousine as Jack Benny’s Maxwell all over Reddit. You weren’t followed, were you?”

While the rumors, nor the lawsuit, are necessarily guaranteed to pan out, there still remains some excitement for what comes next. If the speculation holds true, then we all can look forward to the first of these sets coming February of 2027, when Magic: the Gathering meets the wild world of “Mad Money with Jim Cramer”.